Extreme makeover

Recently my daughter put together a 'spa' night for a large gang of girls at her college as a 'girls night out'. I had helped her buy some of the products and I started to get the itch to give myself a bit of a spa treatment. She had lots of leftover stuff, so I took a couple of extra facial mask products and looked forward to using them to feel wonderful. I set aside an evening for myself and began with a manicure and pedicure. Then I ran the bathwater with 'muscle soak' bubblebath, added epsom salts for my aching joints, baby oil for my dry skin, and magazine at the ready for mindless relaxation. While the bath was filling, I washed my face to ready it for the mask. Then I applied the mask, as per the instructions, in a thin layer....or at least I tried. It's hard to describe just what this goop felt like...but I guess 'goop' is the only word that comes to mind. It didn't exactly apply thinly....it was more 'gummy and gob-like', and would not spread nicely. I had to let it dry for a few minutes and then it was to be peeled off. I pictured it coming off in one neat piece....sort of like removing a sticker or postage stamp from its backing. Well, when I began to peel, it felt just like peeling after a bad sunburn....you know.....flakey...in little pieces....and you're never quite done. Then, the parts that hadn't gone on too smoothly came off in small gobs.....many small gummy, gooey gobs, that unfortunately were green in colour and I will leave it to your imagination as to what the next person using the bathroom would think if I didn't clean it all up well. My bathwater started getting cold as I continued trying to get this gunk off of my face. Even washing my face wouldn't get it all off. It was stuck in the edges of my hair like glue. My face felt no better than before the treatment, and I was still trying to get the traces of goop off my face hours later. I was feeling glamorous indeed. Two tubes of face masks went into the garbage with the gentle reminder not to believe everything you read on a product label. I'll go back to my 'beauty is in the heart' theory.

Incidentally, there is a recipe here for a homemade face mask made from nothing but water, essential oil, and cat litter....yes, cat litter..... as long as it is 100% clay. If you own a cat, I don't recommend being anywhere near it while your face is 'steeping'.