Speaking of being out of touch with reality.....
There's a woman in my life who always brings me back to the real world....the one where people struggle with poverty, sickness, disease, and at times despair. This week Sharon (not her real name) was at the lowest point I have seen her. This week, I think she'd be glad if the world ended.
I've known Sharon for many years now - she just turned 60 - and every time I have visited with her, I have gained more insight into the struggles she has had since her childhood, stories that would break your heart if you heard them. And yet these life experiences have fortified her, toughened her, and made her a feisty advocate for the downtrodden, a voice for social justice and against injustice. It was not unheard of for her to be seen standing somewhere alone outside of a government office holding a picket sign for a cause...in fact rumour has it she did it topless once because it was the only way to draw attention to her issue! She has always lived well below the poverty line, but raised two sons alone, both of which to this day have serious medical disabilities that continue to require expensive surgeries. She has fought many battles which I will not go into here....but you name it....she's been through it.
She managed to go back to school, purchase a house, add a business to it and pay down what she owed by working hard. On top of her job she would cater, clean houses, and bake cookies to literally sell on the street - anything she could do for a few more dollars - not for herself - but to faithfully pay all of her bills. Yet she is always the first to give her last dime to help someone out who is worse off than her. Her stories amaze me.....and shame me.... as to how little I give out of what I have. I have offered at times to take her out for dinner only to have her insist on paying (this woman does not accept 'no' for an answer). I can't tell you how humbling it is to watch her count the money out of her wallet....knowing full well she can't afford it....to pay for my meal when I have a job and good health. But everyone needs their dignity and I have learned that I must allow someone to be blessed by giving, even if it is out of their poverty. It's a fine line giving food and necessities to her and her family lest it be mistaken as 'charity', when she views others as much more needy than herself. Yet I know that for her, groceries are purchased only after the bills are paid....and there have been lean months when the bills were not paid.
Sharon battles a terrible cancer now. About 5 years ago she was given 2 years to live. Now her physical condition leaves her with nothing she can do to earn money. Having to go onto a Disability pension has been very humiliating for her and even if she could earn anything extra beyond the pension cheque, it is always clawed back by the government. Unfortunately, that means she has stopped taking her medications....partly because she has to choose at times between having food and bills paid, or paying for medical expenses....but I think she has given up the meds because they are just prolonging the inevitable and she's just too tired to fight anymore.She can't eat typical food provided by the city's food bank because her body can't handle processed foods. So I ensure she gets fresh vegetables and fruit and believe me, she knows how to stretch a few vegetables into many, many meals. She's done it all her life.
This week she told me she is selling her house - the one thing she has worked so hard to keep over the years - and has been a lovely place for her and one of her sons to enjoy. I asked her where she will go. She said she doesn't know and doesn't care anymore. She'll find a room....as long as she can just pay off all her debts from the sale and be done with the financial stress that she can't handle anymore....and as she waits on a court case that she has fought for over a decade and just can't wait any longer.
