Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Danny Brooks 'Ain't That The Truth'

Got the blues

There are 3 types of music I have particularly never liked. One is country music (shudder) with all the cheatin' and cryin' and moanin'...give me a break...forgive me if you like it, but I could never understand why I'd want to wallow in sorrow. A close second to that was blues music which I figured was all depressing too. And then jazz....I could never hum along to the melody because I couldn't find it. Well, maybe there's a fourth. I can handle most of my son's punk music until the screaming starts...it's just not soothing, 'by the pond' kinda stuff. So when I heard there was going to be an 'awesome' blues band at our church, I didn't consider going. But I changed my mind and couldn't quite believe my reaction to the concert. I could have stayed for several more hours! These were old guys....I mean, even older than me(!) with the name....Danny Brooks and the Rockin' Revelators! (oh dear). But what incredible talent! And they just jammed like teenagers, strutting the stage and switching up guitars. I bought a CD and took a very long ride home listening to it...one foot on the gas and the other thumping to the music. Me and blues music. Who would have thought it?

To be honest, I still don't think I like any other blues music....just Danny Brooks' music. It was the intense heart and soul of the man that drew me to his music. From the age of fifteen he lived and breathed blues music, so it's in his blood. But he should be dead. His liver was shot from overuse of heroin and booze. Now he is a living miracle with an amazing story. He doesn't preach. He belts out from his soul the pain he has felt, and the hope he now lives in. He's just himself and he's real. As I watched in rapt attention, the words of Donald Miller came to my mind that I had read in his book, Blue Like Jazz, and I understood just what he meant.


"I never liked jazz music because jazz music doesn't resolve. But I was outside the Baghdad Theatre one night when I saw a man playing the saxophone. I stood there for fifteen minutes and he never opened his eyes. After that I liked jazz music. Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself. It is as if they are showing you the way."

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Risky business


Every year my daughter receives a beautiful single red rose from her father for Valentine's Day. It's his way of reminding her that she is profoundly loved, cherished, and of irreplaceable worth to him. What a wonderful thing to know in your heart - you are deeply loved - not just with words but with promise - the one who loves you will never abandon you.

I have been reading a book by Rob Bell called Sex God, Exploring the Endless Connections Between Sexuality and Spirituality. I snuck the book out of my daughter's apartment because she sneaks my clothes into her suitcase....and also because she stated that every guy needs to read this book. That intrigued me to read it. Rob states,
"Love is handing your heart to someone and taking the risk that
they will hand it back because they don't want it. That's why it's such a
crushing ache on the inside. We gave away a part of ourselves and it wasn't
wanted."
Where Rob went with that thought stopped me in my tracks. He began to paint a picture of how that 'ache' is universal, but it originated with God...God has a broken heart!

"God takes this giant risk in creating and loving people, and in the process God's heart is broken. Again and again and again. Divine heartbreak....The story the Bible tells is of a living being who loves and who continues to love even when that love is not returned. A God who refuses to override our freedom, who respects our power to decide whether to reciprocate, a God who lets us make the next move."

Rob goes on to show how God, whose physical presence we wouldn't be able to handle, desired us to see His deep love. But how could He show us when He couldn't get near us?
"Jesus is God coming to us in love. Sheer unadulterated,unfiltered love.Stripped
of everything that could get in the way. Naked and vulnerable, hanging on a
cross, asking the question, 'What will you do with me?' "
It was risky for Him to go all the way to the cross with such a deep love inside. He was giving away his heart and himself, but some would just hand it back and not want Him. He could have just called the whole thing off. But God is love. He identifies with the crushing ache of abandonment and rejection.
And He knows how it feels to be cheated on.
Some who pledge their love and devotion to Him above anything or anyone, spend all their time with someone else....another love....a more appealing distraction...coveting... cheating....unfaithful.

And I wonder at times if that's me.

Imagine if my daughter received her Valentine rose from her Dad, told him with a hug that she loved him, and then threw the rose to the ground, crushing it below her foot. How would her father feel? Such a depth of love trampled... with words of affection, but no true devotion in return.
I'm thinking that's just a little taste of how God grieves.

I want His risky sacrifice to be worth it.

I don't want to cause more grief and ache for my Father.

I'd like to return the love in more than just words and pretense... and be forever faithful and devoted to the One who would give His very life for me.
It's truly the ultimate love story!

"You lived to die rejected and alone

Like a rose trampled on the ground

You took the fall and thought of me

Above all"

Friday, February 15, 2008

February 15 - An ordinary day





Each day is an ordinary day to most.

But every day has a meaning to someone...a date on the calendar that can trigger a remembrance of happiness...regret.... or perhaps heartache.

While others are immersed in their day, someone quietly may have flashbacks connected with that date.

February 15 is one of those warm fuzzy 'trigger' days for me as I recall years of birthday celebrations for my Dad. If he were still with us he'd be 92 today! Though it's been 14 years since he left us, his positive influence is an integral part of me. He engrained his mark indelibly within me and so in many ways he has never left.

It's amazing to me how deeply those closest to us affect us, positively or negatively. We often don't see in ourselves the reflection of those who have influenced us until we find ourselves acting out what we have absorbed like a sponge over the years.

After all these years I've lived, I still battle a lot of negative stuff that was sponged in as a child and I find it oozing out when I least expect it. The cool thing, much to my relief, is that my abandonment to Christ allows Him to be everything in me that I am not. The key is....abandonment. And it's difficult in those moments that I just don't want to fight the crappy stuff that seems to rise up naturally within me. It's easier to just 'be me'. It's at those times I have to decide what matters most to me - whether to 'abandon' and let Christ's character be everything in that moment, or just go with the flow and perhaps drag someone down with me. "The place where your treasure is, is the place you will most want to be, and end up being." (The Bible, Matthew 6:21)

I love that we are not doomed to be failures from the negative stuff we've sponged in over the years, no matter how bad. No one is excluded from the freedom Christ will provide moment by moment as we abandon each struggle to Him.

I am so grateful to my Dad that in the midst of negativity, he planted positive in me. He was deeply committed to prayer and simply lived like Christ day in and day out, genuine - not perfect - but abandoned. He is now in a place where calendars and time have no meaning. But because I must live by a calendar I will continue on February 15th to say with fond memories, 'Happy Birthday Dad. Thank you!! I love you!'
"What actually took place is this: I tried
keeping rules and working my head off to please God, and it didn't work. So I
quit being a "law man" so that I could be God's man. Christ's life showed me
how, and enabled me to do it. I identified myself completely with him. Indeed, I
have been crucified with Christ. My ego is no longer central. It is no longer
important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I am
no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me. The life you see me living
is not "mine," but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave
himself for me. I am not going to go back on that."

The Bible, Message Version - Galatians 2:19-21

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Winter snowscapes




If I can't be outdoors among flowers with my hands in warm soil...then bring on the snow!