MJ wasn't the first moonwalker

When I was a child, space travel was still a mystical, uncommon thing. All eyes were on the news if any rockets were launched into space, but never more so than when man first stepped on the surface of the moon - 40 years ago on July 20, 1969.

I was 12 years old when three brave astronauts, Neil Armstrong, Michael Collins, and Edwin "Buzz" Aldrin Jr. departed on their Apollo 11 mission to the moon. I remember being with my parents in front of our black and white television watching the Apollo 11 launch, and then the lunar landing.









We watched grainy images of Neil Armstrong stepping onto the surface of the moon, followed by Buzz Aldrin. We listened carefully to their historic statements and watched with awe as they bounced along for a no-gravity experience.

We saw images of our own earth as they were seeing them from the moon.








I remember staring at the moon for many nights after that, with an eerie feeling, trying to imagine that there were men up there as I gazed at it.


Later we followed their descent to earth, wondering if they would survive...watching their capsule land in the ocean and the boats travelling out to get them. I was awestruck with it all.


Fast-track 40 years and we learn that Buzz Aldrin's post-Apollo life had spiraled out of control with depression and alcoholism. Fortunately, that is behind him and he has chronicled his life in his memoirs, "Magnificent Desolation".

Many in the current generation seem to have lost that awe of space travel and other amazing feats that we take so for granted. Another shuttle launch? That's nice. It seems almost as commonplace as an airplane taking off in flight.

Well maybe this video will engage younger generations....or at least make them laugh. Good old very cool 79 year old Buzz Aldrin aka Doc Rendezvous is very much into the new hip-hop, twitter culture and wants to send a message to this generation. He enlists Snoop Dogg to help him. I could never have imagined this video when I was 12....nor could Buzz I'm sure. Take a look. (If the embedded video won't load for you click on this link to view it).

Buzz Aldrin's Rocket Experience from Buzz Aldrin

Creeeeepy Crawlies

This blog post is not for those with queasy stomachs. If you are squirmy about bugs, stop reading now. Go to some other nice, peaceful blog that makes you feel good. Don't say I didn't warn you.


Back in the early days of our marriage, my husband and I visited his parents when they lived on the Georgian Bay. I remarked on an unusual insect there that I had never seen in my life. It intrigued me. It was called an earwig. Strange name....I mean, doesn't it paint a picture in your head?












We must have brought two of them back with us unawares to infest our neck of the woods.

They are now everywhere at our house, starting in about July until frost. If you have them at your house you know what I mean. Pick up anything outside.....a pot....a garbage can....a garden hose....a chair...a rock. Doesn't matter what. If you lift up something outside, there will be earwigs beneath it that scatter when the light hits them. Bring some cut flowers into the house and earwigs will fall out from beneath the petals. They chew stuff. And they like it dark and moist. We've had two rainy summers in a row. Not good.

I'm not sure what eats them. I've invested in all these birds around us. If the birds are eating them, they aren't eating enough of them. If toads or snakes eat them, I'll take about a hundred of each please.


Oh, I know all the ways to knock down their numbers. Like, put out rolled up newspapers or a portion of a garden hose to capture them, and then drown them in soapy water in the morning. Sorry, no time for that - not till I'm retired.


But there's this other nagging problem with them. They're not content to stay outside. We seem to have a 'leaky' house because each summer they begin to pay us a visit...in the kitchen, the bathroom, the basement, and the odd one in the bedrooms.


Back when my daughter was much younger, we had an infestation of earwigs in her bedroom. I'll spare you the details of how they got in - we did figure it out and resolve it. But imagine this little girl feeling things crawling on her....turning on the light, and literally seeing the room alive and moving. Every night after dark....earwigs on the walls, ceilings, floor. Behind the posters and pictures on the walls....under the chair rail....coming out from beneath the baseboards. Everywhere. It's a wonder she didn't have nightmares. Obviously, we didn't let her sleep in there anymore (as if she could) until we tackled where they were getting in the house.


We are no longer infested with them. But if I get up in the night and turn on a light in the bathroom or kitchen, there will always be one or two....or three...that were in transit until the light came on. They freeze and look at you and wait. When they see you move, they try to scurry under something. Their little bodies crunch in the kleenex but you're still not sure they're dead until they go down the toilet...and even then....who knows if they come back? You've heard of gathering at the water cooler? These creatures gather under ours in the kitchen where there's a little moisture. The absolute worst place I have found the odd one is on the flexible trim lining the door of our fridge!


Okay, now that you're never going to visit our house in the summer (in the winter we have flying moths from the bird seed)....perhaps you will implore RAID to bring back the earwig traps they used to produce and have now done away with. They used to work really well. I have some Lee Valley reuseable traps in which you put oil and other stuff, but the earwigs just never go inside them.


Now, I know I'm just whining. I've experienced tropical climates living with everything from tarantulas to chamelions to snakes inside. But I live in suburbia and don't expect to feel like I'm at the cottage or camping.

Even so, I would still rather have earwigs then large ants in my house. Ants are just too intelligent for me. I lived with them at my parents' house when they had an ant nest below the rafters of the house. Every time I entered a room, my eyes would scan the ceilings, walls, and floors. What a feeling to run your hand through your hair and have a large, squishy, wriggling ant between your fingers, or pouring syrup on your pancakes only to find ants swimming in the syrup (I kid you not). But those ants would never die. No matter how hard you whacked them or squished them or drowned them. If only I'd known back then that some of them are allergic to nuts - I would have left out peanut butter traps - because you will notice on the RAID ant traps, they are clearly marked, "may contain nuts". I told you ants were intelligent - they can read. (And how intelligent of us to make the ants aware that the poison that can kill them, may contain nuts that could kill them).


Had enough of this talk? I will leave you then and get some cotton balls for my ears before I go to bed. Whaaaat? EAR wigs. Crawl into dark and moist places. Not sure what they like chewing, but I know I need to keep all of the brains I have, little though they may be (as evidenced by this blog post).

That's astounding!

If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves.

Thomas Edison

Celebrate!

HAPPY CANADA DAY!!!

I love my country - best place on the planet!!

It's the most wonderful time of the year

One in my mouth.....

two in the bowl.....

two in my mouth......

one in the bowl......

29 years

Yes....that's right. I've been married all my life.

Happy Anniversary Dave. You're the best and I love you!

Spring Things

Summer is right around the corner (whether it feels like it or not), so I am providing you with some pics of spring things from around our home, before they are out of season. If you think I enjoy birds and flowers, you are very observant.

I'm not sure how I feel about chipmunks now that they've chewed a hole in the roof vent, chewed the window frames, and many of them can be seen tearing around the outside of the house (not inside....yet), and running along the brick walls. My heart softens when I look at their pictures....but when I see four or more at once in the garden, sending birds scattering in all directions, and scampering back and forth to the neighbours with their loot....I'm reminded they are rodents...rodents with pockets that desperately must be filled. And to think only a few years ago, I had never seen a chipmunk in our neighbourhood and longed to catch a glimpse of one....

Enjoy the show.

Storms 'n rainbows

This evening was one of those weird weather nights. It had gotten dark before sunset and started raining steadily. I saw a flash of lightning and heard thunder so I went to have a look out the window. The sky had turned a strange orangey/yellowy colour and the air had become very still after having been quite windy. I always think 'tornado' when I see such things.

But as I looked out my east facing window I realized a rainbow was appearing. I went outside, camera in hand, and stood on the front porch.

In the midst of the lightning... the thunder.....and the rain....

the sun was shining in the west......

while a rainbow shone in the eastern sky.

It's confusing to see lightning, rain, sunshine, and rainbow all at once!

It brought my mind back to a weird feeling last summer when I was pulling some weeds in the garden. It was very hot in the blazing sun, but it suddenly started raining in the midst of the sunshine beating down on me. I stood up and looked for the cloud that was raining on me, and there wasn't one anywhere to be seen! The sun was still brightly shining. I was very puzzled, but welcomed the cooling spray....wherever it was coming from! (No, my husband was not spraying me with the hose....it really was rain!).

If you've flown in a plane, you will also love that exhilarating feeling of leaving the ground on a dreary, rainy day and suddenly bursting through the clouds to see that the sun was there all along. You leave the dreariness below and rise above to be warmed and heartened by the sun's rays.

It's a gentle reminder to me that even when the winds are swirling, the rain beats down as the storm rages, and that's all I can seem to see..... the sun really is still there....I just can't always see it at that moment.

Sometimes waiting for the breakthrough from the dark clouds can seem like forever. But don't ever let go of hope. A rainbow doesn't follow every storm...but like the sun, hope is always there. One day you will rise above it all and be warmed and heartened.

(Here's an account of the most frightening storm I've experienced.)

Moment of Awe

In case you hadn't noticed, I'm an obsessed bird lover. Today when I came home from work, I had a near-perfect moment for a bird lover. Let me backtrack a bit before I tell you about it.

I've always wanted to be able to watch the activity of a bird's nest up close, but the placement of denser trees and windows at our place have never seemed to allow it. But just over a week ago we realized with all the commotion and chasing of blue jays and such, that Momma Cardinal was nesting in a tall bush just beneath our bedroom window. If we strain, we can catch a glimpse of the nest below us, but the camera can't capture it from inside. My husband sensed my eagerness for a picture from above, so when Momma flew to the bird feeder (which I eagerly keep topped up for her and her mate), he removed a window pane - no easy feat with our big old need-to-be-replaced-but-can't-afford-it heavy sliding windows. I popped my head out into the fresh air and snapped several pictures of the eggs in the nest directly below. Within moments, Mom and Dad were flapping and squawking at this intruder hanging out the window.

Five beautiful eggs! We had noticed this week however, that Momma seemed to sit on only four, as the fifth egg was always visible. Maybe she knew she could only manage four mouths to feed or perhaps birds know when one isn't going to hatch?? It's been kind of cool to know that as I settle down in my 'nest', there's another momma just on the other side of the wall.

I have enjoyed watching the interaction between Mom and Dad. He's always guarding...flitting around nearby and diving at anything that gets near, making sure Mom has moments to stretch, get food and water - he'll even pass some food to her. Both Mom and Dad fly furiously at blue jays, hitting them until they fly off. That's one disadvantage of keeping the feeders topped up - it attracts all the 'enemies' too. Blue jays and crows are particular culprits for robbing nests of eggs and baby birds.

So I have developed an affinity for this couple and a hope for their little family.

Tonight when I came home from work, had fed the dog, filled the bird feeders and had dinner on the BBQ, I decided to take my camera out for another shot of Momma and the nest from a safe distance.

As I took the picture, I suddenly realized the nest was on an extreme angle pointed downward, and the nest appeared empty except for that one egg that Momma had not been sitting on. She was out of the nest. I quickly moved and looked below the nest and my heart sank. There on the ground lay the tiniest little fleshly bodies. Something must have suddenly attacked and upset the nest to cause these new born babies to be flung to the earth. I put my camera in the house and went in behind the bush to take a closer look. Momma was in the bush flitting around and watching me. Such a pathetic little motionless heap that lay there. I felt profoundly sad.

As I knelt down to examine more closely, suddenly there was movement in the heap! The heaving of a tiny chest, the beating of a heart. At least one was alive! I shook off the thought that this was going to feel like picking up a worm, and cautiously picked up this tiny piece of flesh in disbelief. It opened its tiny beak. I allowed a fleeting thought to leave my mind - a thought to grab my camera for an amazing picture of fragile life in my hand. But I couldn't delay. Momma was becoming very distressed at my presence and I didn't have the heart to watch her be so alarmed. I paused long enough to savour the moment of holding a day old baby cardinal, less than two inches long in my hand. Then I moved over to the nest as Mom hopped around and loudly squawked at me. I righted the nest as best I could, though the cedar branches were not too sturdy, and I placed the baby inside. Then I picked up the next tiny mass of flesh. Still moving! The third - also alive! I tried to remove the pieces of mulch off of their bodies and placed them in the nest. Then I made a hasty retreat into the house so Momma could calm down. I peeked out the bedroom window to see her back in the nest sheltering her little ones.

It was not until a little later that I realized there was one baby unaccounted for. I carefully looked around again outside but alas, it is gone...unless...examine that picture of the nest above and see if you think that might be another bird next to the egg??

Time will tell whether these little rescued ones will make it. It must have been a hard landing for them. I read tonight that adult cardinals are on to building a second nest for another brood soon after the first batch are pushed off onto their own. If these little ones survive, Mom and Dad will feed them, teach them how to fend for themselves ("here's where the feeders are and this lady will keep them full for you"), and then they'll be busy starting all over again.

The cycle of human life is much different than this 'automatic' instinct we observe in nature. It requires our interaction, love, sacrifice, caring and action in the meeting of each other's needs.

The cycle of life in the bird world.

Normal.....but not without wonder.

It will always be a marvel to me.

It does not require my intervention....but it was an awesome experience to hold a moment of it in my hand!

Little heartbeats

Here's a message for women...but men are welcome too.

Kids are so sweet....mostly when they are sleeping. Sometimes they leave you with memorable moments like these.....



Mother's Day can be a difficult day for many for various reasons. Some have lost their mother and miss them especially on this day. Many others have deeply painful memories of a mother who hurt them badly and scars remain to this day. To the latter, I would say....the dysfunctional stuff stops here, with you. You are a fresh beginning. Every day is a new clean page. You are not the reason your mother acted as she did, nor are you destined to repeat the same mistakes as she did. As long as you are alive and there is a God who loves you (and there is!), you have fresh hope each day to make a difference in the life of a child - whether your own, or a child within your influence. The world needs changing....it starts with us.....and little heartbeats.

Who could write and sing a song about it more beautifully than Steven Curtis Chapman?

Congrats!

Graduation day! Today we congratulate you Bethany, our daughter, for four years of very hard work, as you receive your Bachelor of Theology degree.

It's not the piece of paper that you receive today that is of the most value, nor even all the reams of knowledge that have been crammed into your brain in four years.

You have had four years out of the shelter of your parents' home to make decisions about every area of life, from food, money, travel, home, and time management; to coping with pressures of a job; deadlines for school assignments and projects; tests and exams; organizing school council functions; church involvement; interaction with people of a broad range of cultures; building a network of peers, profs, pastors, and mentors; job interviews; and having a social life in the midst of it all. But even all of that, as important as it has all been to your maturity and success in a job, it is not the most important thing you've received in graduating.

Rather, you have told us how your soul and passion have been impacted by the life you've seen lived out by your profs, pastors, and mentors, the challenges presented by them and the valuable tools, support and prayers by them for you to be more like Christ and impact the world.

I remember you e-mailing me a few months ago after you had a particularly awesome day at school. Some individuals who are impacting their community were brought in to speak to your class. One was a woman who runs a centre that provides practical, emotional, and spiritual help to people suffering from AIDS, cancer and life-threatening diseases. She asked the students in your class point blank how they are going to help people like these who need them. She brought with her a man who shared that he had been abused as a child, lived in the gay community and on the street, and has suffered greatly with AIDS and rejection. His life has been turned around and he is now helping out at this organization. Both challenged you and your classmates, asking how you are going to help a hurting world, and reminded all of you that it's all about loving people and building relationship with individuals. You mentioned also that you heard from a youth, individual and family therapist. At the conclusion of the day, you poured out your passion for youth in your e-mail and asked me to promise to remind you of this day at any time in the future when you might get tired or doubt your calling.

Recently amid all the decision making about your future, you said, " If I can just build close relationships with the young people that will be within my influence...I want to do all I can to impact their lives."

We could not be more proud of you Bethany. You have persevered when the going was rough and have not been distracted from the goal or deterred by the obstacles. But more importantly.....MUCH more importantly......you GET it. There are some hurting, growing, awesome young people out there who are waiting for you, and you are anxious to meet them. Knowledge and learning is good and useful - never wasted and spurs you on to keep learning. Earning a degree helps open doors that might not otherwise have opened. But it's God who will always equip you...He's more than enough for what you need. It's His love for people that will remain as your inspiration. Keep His passion for people alive within you and He'll direct your path into theirs.

Congratulations Bethany! We love you!!!

Underdog

So much talk of the underdog these days. I must admit I had not followed the fame of other 'underdogs' from the infamous 'Britain's Got Talent' show, and only became interested in it as I poked around on the internet after viewing Ms Boyle's performance. I was moved when I watched the first audition of Paul Potts who won it two years ago (where was I? I've never heard of him! Mind you, I hardly ever watch TV!). I was a little misty-eyed when I watched Susan Boyle though everyone else seemed to be sobbing. But....Paul Potts....he made me cry. Must be the mother in me or something. It's his face.....the puppy dog eyes...so shy....no confidence....but loves to sing opera. I hate opera. But Paul Potts mesmerized me in his first audition. Something makes me wish that these ordinary people who are suddenly pushed into the limelight, would just say no to all the money and the fame and the promises, and simply say, "Thanks. But all I wanted was to prove I could win it", and then just go on to use their talent wherever and however they would like....no agents required. To become rich and famous and 'Hollywood' instead of just ordinary kinda ruins it, don't ya think? It is the ordinary that makes them attractive. We don't need more celebrities. We need more real people.

Here's Paul Pott's initial audition....and I've thrown in one other audition by Andrew Johnston below that. Here's to ordinary people. Like you and me...maybe not with exceptional musical talent....but we are all unique and valued and extraordinary in who we are. Most of us just don't know it yet.

Simon Cowell got it right.... "You're better than you think you are...you are good!"

(Please turn off My Playlist at right before viewing!)

Are you one of the 7 million??

Over seven million people have now watched this YouTube video of Susan Boyle. Susan who?? If you're one who hasn't seen this yet, I dare you to watch it and not have a tear or two in your eye. Many weep and watch it over and over. Why? Perhaps we're reminded not to judge a book by it's cover. Perhaps we are reminded of how quickly we jump to conclusions when we have no right to. And perhaps most of us relate to the underdog with a dream. Don't ever stop dreaming.

Enjoy....and keep the kleenex handy.

The video is not able to be embedded, so I provide a link for you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

Irreducible

The Irreducible Minimum.

Somewhere in the recesses of my school memories I remember struggling with math questions - factoring until you reached the minimum - couldn't go any farther - the finale - the finish. Irreducible: impossible to reduce to a simpler form of expression.

That's kind of how I view Christ willingly laying himself down on the cross.

God.... the Creator... brings His love down as far as He can go. Agonizing.... but choosing to become 'one of us' to give everything.....everything. Impossible to go any farther than giving all He had. It's finished.

Did you catch the significance of that curtain in the temple that ripped from the top to the bottom at the moment of His death? That curtain used to separate the ordinary person from the presence of a holy God. It's finished. We now have direct access. We have direct access.... to a holy God!... who loved us enough to follow through right to the end!

Does that astound you?

After all the working and searching and calculating we do...

It all comes down to this. He's the final answer.

At the cross we're all equal

He knows us..... but there's no condemnation

Forgiveness....paid in full

There's no great significance to the tree....the pieces of wood on which Christ died. But if I ever lose the wonder of what happened there....I'll be struggling with questions - toiling and factoring until I come back to the irreducible minimum.

"...May I never lose the wonder,
The wonder of the cross.
May I see it
like the first time
Standing as a sinner lost,
Undone by mercy and left
speechless,
Watching wide eyed at the cost.
May I never lose the wonder,
The wonder of the cross...."

Written by Vicky Beeching 2007

Christ didn't have any sin. But God made him become sin for us. So we can be made right with God because of what Christ has done for us.

(II Corinthians 5:21 - The Bible)

96 Parts = 96 Hours

I like to feel that I'm not useless when it comes to putting things together - you know like building bookcases or a stereo stand. Especially from Ikea. Ikea instructions often have no words....just user friendly pictures with little Pacman-like faces with smiles or frowns to show how-to or how not-to-do it.

My dear, patient husband succombed to my pleas to purchase a heavy duty 200 pound exercise home gym, because I'm all trained in weight training but hate going to the gym to use only a few specialized machines. As soon as my son moved out....well.... I waited a day....I began to set up his old bedroom as an exercise room. Rather than being resigned to the basement, I can now exercise in a bright room designed for comfort....um, I mean sweat and hard work. I have piled up old classic CDs that I haven't listened to in forever, and this room becomes a place where great music meets physical exertion. Of course a great kickstart was my doctor giving me 3 months to get my cholesterol down through diet and exercise. Weight bearing exercise helps considerably....thus we struggled to bring home the aforementioned 200 pound box.

I'll spare you the details of how it went getting the thing home....although it was rather humorous hearing the paging system in the department store as we took the item through the jewellery section to speed up the process. "Carryout to Jewellery please! Carryout to Jewellery!" (Customers had visions of huge diamonds). They sent a tiny young teenage girl to help with carryout....who summoned additional help from a male.

So there's 96 pieces to this sucker. No Pacman-like faces here. No simplistic pictures. Lots of words. And numbers. My husband perused the 'book' of directions with a wild look in his eye. But soon he was up for the challenge and said, "Some people are challenged by crossword puzzles..... (that would be me, sometimes)....others...." His voice trailed off as he spread out the 96 pieces over the table and floor.

Check out Diagram 1.

Now Diagram 2.

Now 3 and 4.

.....aaaaaaand there's more.....number 5....

And finally Diagram 6.

I concede this is too much for me. My husband got a start on it, but only had a few hours before he had to leave for Montreal for the week, so it will definitely sit until he returns.

The great thing is, that once I'm in shape, if we buy anything else this heavy, I can lift it into the trunk while my husband returns the trolley cart. That's a fair exchange since he'll have to put it together...and really....a man's got to learn how to follow directions SOMEtime.

Support Epilepsy Awareness Day - Wear Purple!

Visit The Rocky Mountain Retreat here to learn more about epilepsy (and see some absolutely stunning photography!!!) God bless you Michele!!

Seeing red

This past winter I saw red.

Mixed in among all the finches and pine siskins on the nyger feeders throughout the winter, I noticed birds with little red caps.

No, they weren't toques for warmth but these little guys are built for winter weather.

Apparently, if they can eat constantly they will withstand bitter cold and can endure colder temperatures than any other songbird.

If they run out of fuel though, they can die of hypothermia.

So you know me.

I kept them well fed all through the long cold winter.

These little guys are called Redpolls and if they've been here other winters I can't say I noticed them. Apparently, they are temperamental and will show up when they feel like it, obviously if there's a good food supply.

This past week, they disappeared.

Unlike robins, they've gone to a colder climate which they prefer.

And that, my friends, is why I could never be a Redpoll.

(My apologies for the 'gaps' - Blogger can be frustrating for photo placement!!)

Bill and Myrtle sittin' in a tree....

Tell me again how much you love me??

Guess who woke up?

A sleepy someone decided to emerge from his slumber today. That's a sure sign of spring around the corner and a sign that the birdseed is going to disappear 5 times as fast.

I will admit I have missed my little friends as they slept serenely beneath the ground and the snow, on the mounds of birdseed and peanuts I supplied them with last year.

Squirrels have provided plenty of entertainment through the winter, but they're just not as lovable as chipmunks.

My hard drive is full of chipmunk pictures. Everytime I think I must not take one more picture of them, one of these critters will look in my eyes and I just have to get one more shot. But then, I guess I'm the same way with bird pictures.

I know I shouldn't love them. They're rodents who can cause a heap of trouble. (Two years ago we had one tearing around inside our house - if you missed it, you can read about it here.)

But who can resist watching their decision making skills when faced with so many peanuts, so little time? How many can I shove in my pockets? Maybe I can squeeze in just one more...maybe switch up the sizes to cram more in there....oooh I hate to leave that one behind....I'll be back in a flash for it!

Here's some poor quality video snippets taken last year when I hadn't learned the settings on my camera. You'll easily see why the birds have very little chance of snatching sunflower seeds when chipmunks are around.

You'll also notice the chipmunk on the same perch the hawk was sitting on a few blog posts ago.

Oh dear.

I guess we'll see who's fastest and wisest....but I don't think I want a video of their encounter!

Hot 'n Steamy

Back in February when we had been in a deep freeze for far too long, my husband randomly suggested that we just drop everything and leave for a warm, tropical vacation. It didn't take much to convince me, so we just went.

What a wonderful relief from the bitter cold! Warm...steamy....refreshing waterfalls...tropical plants....colorful birds.....beautiful butterflies.

Yah....... me, birds, butterflies, warmth, water and plants.....that's heaven right there.

It was absolutely wonderful. I let every moment sink in as my bones drank in the warmth they so craved.

Then after about 3 hours we came home.

Actually, the vacation was less than an hour's drive and cost under 25 bucks for the two of us. You guessed it. A butterfly conservatory. I highly recommend this mini vacation when you just need some warmth and beauty.

Mind you, when we walked back outside into the -25C temperatures, my husband remarked that we'd probably get a cold because of the drastic shock to our systems. I assured him that was all an old wive's tale because colds come from viruses. Three days later....I was flat out in bed for the next three days with a miserable cold.

But as I shut out the world and cocooned under the blankets to recover, (can't say I emerged as something beautiful), I still felt it was totally worth it to have gone on our mini vacation!

Remember what the birds know....warm weather is coming.

Make yourself a hot cup of tea, wrap yourself up in a nice warm blanket, and enjoy the show....

(Click on it for a closer view)

Foggy morning

I went to work in a fog this morning.

Just before going out the door my husband, who had quickly perused the obituaries, informed me that an acquaintance had passed away suddenly while on vacation. He was 53.

My mind immediately went back to the last moment I had spoken with this now deceased man - a great guy - and his wife. We had been standing in a very long line in a funeral home and some of our reflections together had been how so many younger people that we have known have passed away. In a few days, this man's family will gather in the same funeral home, perhaps even in that very room, to mourn his passing.

I drove to work in a blur, sat down at my desk blinking back tears, took a deep breath, and wanted to curl up in a fetal position and sob for this man's wife and his two sons, though I really don't know them well.

Death and separation stinks. We feel helpless when it happens and we can't change it. Some days it seems just too hard to handle. Grieving can last for such a very long time. We can't just 'snap out of it'. Life seems to grind to a halt. The sadness of the loss can be triggered very suddenly by memories, music, sounds, even smells, long after we think we should be moving on with life. Over time the memories will become happy ones to revisit, but for now, they elicit pain. But grieving is necessary. Weeping is necessary to bring healing. And friends need to stand alongside, grieving with the heartbroken, interceding for peace and hope to uphold them.

There is One who is very acquainted with grief and with death. He grieves alongside and will never leave us. Death makes us feel very alone, but we can trust that He is as close as the next breath we take, for as long as we breathe....and then for eternity. Here we live in an imperfect world of which death is a part. But it is the unseen world that is far more real than anything we can fathom.

Eternity.

Hope.

Expectation.

Reunion.

Right now life can be foggy. But then....we shall see clearly. Hope will be realized....and loved ones embraced.

We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright!
We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him
directly just as he knows us! But for right now, until that
completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation:
Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of
the three is love.

(I Corinthians 13: 12-13 The Message Bible)

(Note: The above photo is the work of Giuseppe Andrea Mosca. Click on the picture to see more of his stunning work on Flickr. Thank you Giuseppe. This photo captures such a beautiful thought!)

Uninvited guest at the table

I have a broken but adequate dish outside our front door that serves as a table for invited guests...of the bird variety of course. Birds of all kinds come to dine and I can hear their chatter when I pull in the driveway as they await my arrival home.

If I don't provide dinner right away, they sit at the empty table, looking in the window of the door....waiting.

After it is filled, they quickly pounce...often within seconds of the door closing as I retreat into the house again.

This morning I wasn't prepared for who was waiting for a handout.

I wouldn't mind feeding him if he would eat seeds or fruit. He might be handsome, but I wasn't about to provide any of my beautiful birds for him to eat. I purposely put out some peanuts for the crows today because they pester, chase and dive at this hawk.

Never thought I'd want crows in my yard, but I'm beginning to appreciate them!

No more

Now I ask you girls.....is there any better Valentine's gift than a brand new, sparkling clean toilet?
That works?

Look at this beauty.

No more leaving the lid off the tank indefinitely and pulling the chain to make it flush (maybe).

No more desperately mopping up the floor when the toilet decides to overflow instead of flush.

No more 'guests' choosing to go somewhere else to use the toilet rather than chance using ours.

No more.

I had one other little surprise on Valentine's Day. I saw a robin! I had heard him a few days earlier, and though I'm quite sure our robins don't leave us for the winter, I was still so encouraged to see him!

Soon there will be

no more snow,
no more ice,
no more cold,
no more short days.
No more.

Just warmth and spring bulbs and lilacs and toilets that flush.

Heavenly.

Toilets and Valentines

My Valentine's gift this year is a toilet. My husband is the king of romance.

Oh it might not thrill you, but I'm quite excited about a new toilet...I've wanted a new one for several years. But for the last month the crappy thing has not been behaving very well, and when you only have one bathroom in the house, that's not a good thing. So we hope to buy a toilet this weekend and install it soon. My husband and plumbing don't get along so well, but installing a toilet's got to be better than fixing an old one!

Actually, my husband is the king of romance. He's always been one to try to pull off surprises and he's gotten better at it over the years - I used to be able to read the hints, but he's learned not to drop them anymore. He walked in the house Thursday night with a dozen red roses and fresh chocolate dipped strawberries....to avoid the rush and the cost. I thought I had him trained not to buy expensive roses, but he promises me he got a deal.

Even so, it's not the surprises that I love most about him. It's the every day guy that he is. We have been married for 28 years (gee, it used to be really old people that would say that.....we got married when we were both 12), and honestly, this man has brought coffee to my bedside every morning of our married life. He used to bring toast as well until I finally requested that he not bring it anymore - too many crumbs in the bed and it got tedious when the dog joined our family. Now, maybe he has always brought me coffee because I'm not a morning person and it's his way of saying, 'Get out of bed you lazy bum', but he's never given that impression. He's just kindhearted and unselfish....right down to the bones. Even on mornings he's left for work extra early and warns me that there won't be a coffee for me because he doesn't have time....I've often heard him coming into the house anyways and sneaking my Timmy's coffee onto the kitchen counter.

I have had mornings I've slept in and am rushing around to get out the door for work, mentally deciding to buy my lunch that day....only to see that even though he's been rushed too, he has prepared me a lunch and there it sits all packed for me to take!! And that was after he cleaned the snow off my car and warmed it up for me!

If I start dreaming of a project or changes I'd like done around the house, or somewhere I'd like to go, I've learned not to say anything unless I really, really want it. Otherwise, even if he disagrees at first, I suddenly realize he's begun to plot it out in his mind as to how he can make it happen. Before I know it, the project or trip is under way.

He is faithful and steady in all he does, consistent in devotional time with God, and loyal to family, friends, and church.

I am a selfish woman married to an unselfish man. I don't deserve him and don't know how he puts up with me, but I am most grateful for him!

Happy Valentine's Day sweetheart!

Thank you for all the big and little things you do, and for being you.

I love you!

Everybody say awwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Stupid other women drivers

I was laughing hysterically over the Youtube clip below of stupid things women drivers have done... until a couple of scenes admittedly made me wince.

I still have a phobic fear of car washes, even the 'touchless' ones. When my kids were young I was driving a van load of kids home from school and decided that it would be a wonderful, fun experience for them all to take the van through the car wash. Well it was an experience. The car wash was not 'touchless' - you had to lodge your wheels into the ruts in order for the vehicle to be washed. I managed to totally miss the ruts, turned my wheels, and got the van hopelessly...and I mean hopelessly stuck. I could not move it forward or back. I had to sheepishly inform one of the workers that I was completely stuck in the car wash and could not dislodge the van. About 2-3 guys came out and tried rocking it and pushing, even trying to lift it. Nothing. The kids were all laughing. Soon they had to get every single guy that worked at the gas station to come into the car wash. One got in the van while all the rest of them rocked and rolled to get that van out. I was humiliated beyond words. I dared not look outside to see how many had gathered to watch. I hate that 'woman driver' stigma! The men were finally able to dislodge the van. I can't remember if the van actually got washed - I'm sure it didn't. And to this day, I just can't get behind the wheel to drive through a car wash. Some day, I will do it and free myself from my phobia.

The other stupid thing I did once...but not nearly as well as the woman in the clip below does!!! I had observed someone fill up their gas tank using the hose from the other side of the pump when all the others were in use. In my case, I had not been able to pull up far enough to the gas pump because of the guy in front of me. It wouldn't reach my car. I didn't find that out until I had already punched in my debit card information. The guy in front was nowhere near finished. So I got in my car and pulled around to the other side of that particular gas pump to try to pull the same hose through to my car. The debit information had now cleared off the gas pump and my debit card had now slipped below the seat of the car. As I rummaged around for it, I realized how ridiculous this whole scenario would look to anyone watching. I mean I'm punching in numbers on the wrong side of the gas pump. I, of course, could not reach the hose around to my car on this side either, and had to drive the car back to the original spot which was now reachable and I started all over again! Mercifully, I do not yet recognize myself on any Youtube movies. BUT, at least I didn't take a 'ride' with the hose as the lady below does...watch for her!

However, her 'ride' does remind me of a tarzan-like swing I took once through the air on a pulley system my husband devised to clean outside chimney pipes.....when I was pregnant. He pulled down.... I went up. I was clinging to the rope, feet dangling too far from the ground and I was left to swing like an ape back and forth over the driveway for the neighbours delight. It was hard to hang on because I was weeping with laughter. Did I mention I was pregnant? What a sight.

Sigh. The good Lord must know I need humility. Enjoy this clip. Watch it right to the end. (Surely at least some of those drivers must be male...)

Empty Nest

Tomorrow our nest will be empty. We will be helping to move our son to live in another city with a couple of buddies - thankfully very responsible, good buddies! He has been eager to get out on his own, and he has expressed that he needs to 'push' himself to get out and be required to become less dependent on parents. I can't agree more with him that it is healthy to want to move on and chart his own course.

Isn't parenthood crazy? You spend every waking moment attached to your children..... caring, teaching, guiding, encouraging.......and then before you know it, you're supposed to just let them walk out of your world. I had become so close with my daughter that I wondered how I would manage when she left for college four years ago. When she left home (city of 86,000), she was living by herself in Toronto (city of 2.48 million) and phoned every night the first week and never stopped talking. Then, the calls stopped coming so frequently and I had to calm myself that she was just fine, assuring myself that she'd made it home safely that night and that she has a life!! I quickly learned to cope quite well, and in fact I'd probably have a hard time coping if she ever moved back here....mainly because she is so happy in her life and I've seen the positive results of her having to (sometimes) struggle through decision making and planning in every area of life and she has blossomed as a lovely young woman. We're still right here for her, cheering her on, and providing advice and encouragement. I could never wish her back here though. It would stifle her growth and maturity as an individual.

So now, it is our son's turn and again we will be right here for him when he needs us, supporting him and loving him, and watching from the grandstands, cheering him on.

Of course, I must give a brief 'bird' analogy here. The coolest thing I've heard about the 'empty nest' was from my Pastor when he talked about eagles. He said he had the opportunity to watch an adult eagle 'push' its baby from the nest. That may sound cruel, particularly when you consider that eagles' nests are in very high trees or even on cliffs. Indeed there are immature, cruel parents out there who shove their kids out the door, not out of love, but because they don't want them around anymore for whatever reason, and the kids crash, wounded and abandoned. The Pastor said he saw the young eaglet drop from the nest, desperately flapping its wings as it quickly descended through the air. But the adult eagle immediately and smoothly flew in underneath the young one, with its strong wings extended and provided support as the eaglet learned to glide. The adults were always there for the fledgling with support, guidance and strength. What a beautiful picture!

Below is a video someone patiently filmed of a young eaglet preparing itself to finally leave the only place it had known, and then its eventual first flight. He learns some pretty cool dance steps until he's ready to jump. There's lots of flapping of wings until he will learn to ride the air currents and effortlessly soar in freedom with outstretched wings for hours on end like his parents. Parachute jumpers....eat your heart out! How could I selfishly keep my babies indefinitely confined to the nest when freedom, growth, experience and wisdom await them beyond? It would be like keeping their wings clipped. Fly away son...and we'll be right there to support you!

.....um.... but leave the keys to the car. It's staying home with us.

Christmas is over???!!!

I guess it's time.

I took down most of the indoor Christmas decorations this past week. Although those little mice and lights (above) are staying. I think lights on a mantle are nice and cozy year round....and well.... mice aren't seasonal. The outdoor lights and bows will have to wait until a thaw...and that doesn't look like any time soon.

Although.... I did take this fuzzy shot from a bedroom window today....pussywillows are in waiting.

Only 11 more months until Christmas Eve and 10 months before the decorations go up again.

If before then, you get lonely for Christmas and want to take a peek at pics of Christmas past, here's a Picasa album slideshow...

Gnashing of teeth

I am now the proud owner of a mouth guard. No, I haven't taken up hockey. And I'm not referring to those stinky $5.99 sports mouth guards from Wal-Mart. No, this one only cost $300.00 (Thank goodness for dental plans).

It all started when I switched pillows one night back in early December. I woke up with an incredible headache and neck pain, and then when I opened my mouth to eat breakfast my jaw hurt so bad I almost cried. I couldn't open my mouth very wide (my husband could interject with a few comments here) without excruciating pain. So I got right into the dentist who had no problem diagnosing that I have temporomandibular joint disorder - now isn't that a mouthful?

I've always been fortunate to have strong healthy teeth and gums - never had a cavity until I was in my forties. But we know from the condition of my molars that I grind my teeth when I sleep which places a strain on my jaws. I really don't think 'stress' is the cause of my teeth clenching. I read a few interesting things about the clenching and grinding of teeth at sleepdeprivation.com :

• "Believe it or not, we chew our food with the force of 175 pounds per square inch. When we grind our teeth without the food, the force can be doubled, which will result in serious damage." That's a hard fact to swallow.
• "It has also been discovered that avoiding caffeinated foods and drinks like colas, chocolates and coffee can increase teeth grinding." Better increase my intake of chocolate for sure.

• "Since teeth grinding takes place during sleep, it is nearly impossible to tell when you are suffering from it." Hope they didn't spend a lot of money for a study on that.

• "One way to treat teeth grinding is learning how to relax your jaw muscles at night. You can accomplish this by holding a warm washcloth against your cheek, right near your earlobe." And are you supposed to fall asleep with this wet cloth on your pillow?

• "Mouth guards or night guards....are designed to keep the teeth still in the mouth...." Good. I would hate for them to fall out of the mouth.

My young dentist is the most personable, laid back, friendly person on the planet and she told me she grinds her teeth as well and wears a mouth guard to bed; in fact, she hates it if she has a night without it. So that convinced me that I needed one myself to provide relief to my jaw and prevent the grinding. In the meantime, I bought an orthopedic pillow and that actually provided instant relief and I had no problems after that. But, I'd already booked an appointment to have the mouth guard made so I went ahead with the plan.

Try to imagine clamping first your top row of teeth and then the bottom row into a very thick cement-like substance that has the smell of Pepto Bismol, feeling like it's filling most of your mouth and then sensing it gradually harden while you of course, cannot swallow. When the dental assistant pulled (yanked?) the moulds off of my teeth, I could have sworn they were going to come out by the roots. Bleeck!

This week I received the finished product. A clear guard in the shape of my top teeth.

On the first night I ran hot water over the mould and then placed it on the top row of teeth. I smiled widely at my husband and told him I felt like a beaver. Bad case of buck teeth. I tossed and turned that night and went in and out of a fitful sleep. I dreamed that I was at a buffet table, dipping shrimp in the cocktail sauce, but when I went to eat it I couldn't bite down on it. In my dream I recognized that I was wearing a mouth guard to the event (how attractive is that?) so I took it out and tried again to eat the shrimp. Still couldn't do it. When I awoke and recalled the dream I laughed and now have come to the conclusion that I'm not stressed when I sleep. I just eat all night long, chomping away! That's okay. There's no calories in that. But perhaps I should switch it up and dine in my dreams at senior's homes with soup, mashed potatoes, and rice pudding.

Now if only I could accomplish what those dieting products promise.....'lose weight while you sleep!' Yah.....in my dreams.

Obamania...observations of a Canadian

I am excited for the USA as they celebrate up to Inauguration Day tomorrow. I have never witnessed this much excitement over a political figure in my lifetime. Obama, of course, represents much more than a political figure to so many. He represents change for the American people, and having emerged from an African/American background he is the epitome of hope for the black community. "Anything is possible in America", he said yesterday. He is an orator and his followers are euphoric. He appears bent on being inclusive of all viewpoints. He has invited Pastor Rick Warren to give the invocation at his inauguration, and Dr. Joseph Lowry, whose views are deeply contrasting to Warren's, will give the benediction. He eats chili dogs at the local Washington eatery. Obama and his wife plan to be very involved with local people within the community in which they live. A man of the people (and the Blackberry), not someone isolated within the walls of the White House. Refreshing.

Americans know how to celebrate. So do Canadians, but we don't spend as much money at it. I have read that the inauguration will cost $100 million (don't know if that includes the pre-celebrations). I think I also read that there might be a recession going on - you know - people unable to pay their mortgages and such. $100 million would have gone a long way to alleviate some big problems. I know that I always have a problem watching the U.S. 4th of July celebrations on the TV as I watch the fireworks....and millions of dollars.....go up in smoke. Surely there are cheaper ways to celebrate - like cut the fireworks to 5-10 minutes and put the savings towards world hunger, or American poverty, or something worthwhile. Absolutely we should celebrate....but somehow the spending of money and celebrity star power always seems most important in the US of A. It's always a big show, Hollywood style and the recession doesn't seemed to have curbed that. But I don't begrudge this celebration - at this time in history it's an important one....and I will admit I don't know where the $100 million is coming from - so if it's all being donated by private individuals and not from government coffers - then all the better.

Ah well. That is my little peeve, but I still consider Americans our wonderful friends and neighbours and I celebrate their 44th President with them. Obama has a huge challenge ahead of him and he's planning to spend an astronomical amount of money. It will be interesting in four years to see how well he has done.

Last night's concert at the Lincoln Memorial began with a convocation by the Right Rev. Gene Robinson who asked the people to pray for "understanding that our president is a human being and not a messiah".

We would all do well to declare (in Canada), "God keep our land, glorious and free", and (in the USA), "In God we trust". If we dare leave it all up to a man, we will be deeply disappointed and with problems much bigger than we can fix without divine intervention.

Shiverrrrr!!!

It's been a full time job lately feeding the wildlife...they eat it as quickly as I put it out. Birds need to eat all day every day in this kind of bitter cold in order to have enough energy to stay warm. But they provide me great pleasure in return and keep me ever ready with camera in hand.... even if the shots are poor from the window of a warm house.

This would be why the neighbours have been heard to say, "I don't know where all the goldfinches have gone. We used to have so many around here!"

Um, sorry....they would all be at my house.

Goldfinches are olive in colour in the winter, but will begin to turn a bright lemony yellow in spring.

Red finches and house finches...

I continually try for that elusive perfect 'cardinal in snow' picture. At times we have many more than I can count, but they flit around so quickly and never stay still!

And then there are other wildlife who are undaunted by the snow and cold.....

Stools and other samples

I had my annual medical checkup today. All went well although I think they slipped up because I realized afterwards that I hadn't been asked to provide a warm liquid in a plastic container to them - you know - the one you provide after walking across the crowded waiting room to the facilities, when everyone watches to ensure you emerge successfully with bottle in hand to provide to the waiting nurse - lucky recipient.

However, the doctor did inform me that now that I am over 50, I need to provide stool samples (see illustration) as a precaution against colorectal cancer . I expressed my great anticipation to collect those for her, though I didn't mention that my previous doctor had started that process when I hit 40. I didn't bring it up again to the new doctor, after my other one left town. The prize for a positive sample is a free colonoscopy, so I'll be trying my best. (Those of you who are younger likely can't wait until your turn.) Of course, the hardest part is that you have to do this on three different days and take two samples from the same stool on each day. So what if you're not home when the ideal occasion arises for a sample??

I must admit I looked at my doctor in disbelief when she explained that I would need to send my stool samples by mail for examination. I had a brief (very brief) moment of sincere sympathy for postal workers. You'll recall those reply envelopes you've completed and verified that you've checked three things before sealing? Number one, in this case asks, "Did you apply stool to both areas, in all 3 test windows?" Fortunately, that envelope is to be enclosed in another before mailing. (I took special note that there is an adhesive liner for sealing, as opposed to requiring your tongue). Strangely, with all the other stupid warnings you see on things, the envelope instructions lack the statement NOT to return the wooden sticks used to collect the samples. Too much information? I'll spare you the suggestions they give on how to actually retrieve the stool. Let me just say that we gave up trying to give both urine and stool samples from the dog to the vet, and we pay extra for the vet workers to extract them.

So, if you are one of those unfortunates who tends to steal from Canada Post, let me advise you right now to just let the bulky envelopes that are addressed to CML Healthcare Inc in Mississauga pass you right by. Don't touch them. You won't be any wealthier by your discovery. Then again, if you have an illness that causes you to steal from the mail, opening one of those envelopes just might cure you forever.

I Resolve....to de-clutter

The following challenge hangs on my fridge to spur me on to greatness in my home.

"Have nothing in your home that you do not know to be useful and believe to be beautiful" - William Morris

And of course you know how things on your fridge begin to blend in with the scenery until you just don't notice them much. I would do better to have this stuck to my forehead as a constant reminder.

And so I resolve in 2009 to reduce clutter in the following areas:

1) Stuff Clutter

Unless we are obsessive compulsive, we all have it in our homes. Too much stuff. Stuff we think we might need, so we keep it. Junk mail that piles up by the door. Newspapers, magazines, bills, books, paper, paper..... paper. Things. Knick-knacks. Gifts we didn't like but guilt makes us keep them. Clothes. They might fit again some day. Shoes we haven't worn in a decade. Need some inspiration? Go to http://www.flylady.net/ and start flying. Even if you think flylady is a little extreme, she has some excellent suggestions and encouragement so you don't get down about being buried in clutter, or defeated by the demands of life. Step by step, 15 minutes a day, you can de-clutter your life.

2) Financial Clutter

With recession looming in our country and around the world, it is important to manage our finances and not feel out of control with our spending. Remember that annual shock when your last paystub of the year indicates your gross year-to-date earnings.....where the heck did that money go?? (Part of the answer of course is on that same paystub under 'income tax paid'....but let's not go there....). Knowing your income, your expenses, and what you've really been spending your money on, will give you a clear picture on where to go from here to earn more if necessary, pay down debt, and free you to plan for the future. To de-clutter financially is to de-stress.

3) Body Clutter

Flylady touches on this problem as well. We stuff our bodies with crap that really shouldn't cross our lips, but if we really examine why, often it is emotional eating or poor habits. She urges us to move our bodies - even if only 20-30 minutes a day. Food should be eaten to give our bodies what they require and keep them healthy, and exercise will help rid the body clutter that drags us down. This is a tough resolution for me because I desperately wanted to gain weight when I was young and never pictured weight gain ever happening - ageing seems to creep up and change one's metabolism!

4) Mind Clutter

There's lots of trash around to freely stuff in your mind - crappy attitudes, gossip, hatred, lies, porn. Junk. This is the clutter no one sees, so you can get away with it...for a time. Until it spills out in your speech and your actions. And it will at some point. 'Garbage in, garbage out'. You are what you 'eat'. I imagine our minds can hold a gazillion kilobytes of the stuff - but dragging to the recycle bin - not so easy. Still sits in the hard drive. Better not to devour it in the first place. De-clutter.... or you will end up dumping clutter on others.

5) Time Clutter

We all have 24 hours a day. Sometimes I hate that statement. Because others accomplish so much more than I do, but I have no excuse. I need to take stock of my moments. How many were totally wasted? Too much internet, TV, personal entertainment....more time spent on 'me' than on others? Perhaps if I take what I want to accomplish and break it down into short periods I can be successful, rather than feel overwhelmed by the task and thus do nothing at all. I want to make the moments count while I still have them.

6) Spiritual Clutter

Do you have a whole mix of spiritual thoughts and ideas in your head but don't take the time to sort them out? What specifically do you believe? What do you not believe? What do you base your conclusions on? What do you think your purpose is in life and why? Do you need a purpose? The answers to these questions and more determine how you shape your days, how you see your future, and prepare you for struggles and difficulties when they inevitably come your way. You'll never have all the answers to spiritual questions, but it's important to clear the clutter, know what you truly believe and why, and then begin to live it in those daily moments you want to count while you still have them.

I guess clearing clutter all comes down to one word....'SIMPLIFY'.

So how come it seems so complicated to get there??!!!

Happy New Year!

there's a red thread...

'Tis the season for red ribbons........on packages decorated with love.

There is a particularly important red ribbon....a thread, if you will. It's been here forever though you may not have noticed it. It has woven its way through eons of time. It was present when life breathed warmth and beauty into a cold, shapeless earth. I find that red thread when I search diligently through the pages of the Bible. The scriptures were written over a 1600 year span by over 40 authors, on 3 continents, and in 3 languages, yet the thread still runs cohesively throughout. In each book, regardless of what era of time it was written in, the thread is there...the 'type'...the 'picture'...the promise....of Immanuel.

'Immanuel' means 'God with us'.

He came to be with us.

Ultimate plan.

Ultimate sacrifice.

Ultimate love.

I revel in the Christmas season because it reassures me of hope. He has woven the red ribbon of His love through my heart as I have handed it to Him. There is far more than just this temporary life. He's been planning it through the ages. There's so much more awaiting us because of His promise. No matter what, He is with me.

Joy to the world!
The Lord is come!
Let earth receive her King!
Let every heart prepare Him room
And heaven and nature sing,
And heaven and nature sing,
And heaven, and heaven, and nature sing!!

100

Leader or Lame Duck?

Wow. How quickly things can change in a few weeks! Who could have predicted such a wild ride in Canadian politics as was this week? My 'Pie in the Sky' idea was not only beyond reach...it was out of this world. People who normally pay no attention to politics watched the news in rapt attention. Would we keep the Prime Minister who was voted in? Or would the other parties (who separately did very poorly in election results) join together in a coalition, overthrow the governing party, and decide that our new Prime Minister would be the one for whom Canadians said a resounding 'NO!'.

"Not a leader". Poor Stephane. You know we really didn't need all the negative advertising about him during the election campaign. He seems to have a black cloud over his head that follows him. How good can you feel when the media continually refers to you as 'the lame duck'? When I have seen him screaming with all his might in the House of Parliament, unable to quite get the english correct, I get a mental picture of him keeling over and falling to the ground with uncontrollable sobbing. Makes me want to hug him. The other night his fiasco address to the nation that wasn't....well it finally was.... after the television crews had closed shop...was not all his fault...but could only happen to him. Not everyone is a leader. We'd be in deep trouble if we all were. Perhaps Dion's makeup is such that he should stay behind the scenes planning policy and strategy....mmm...no, maybe not the strategy part.

Depends on who you talk to as to whether Stephen is considered a good leader. He definitely represents Canada well on the international front as he speaks well and is very intelligent. Is he a good leader?

I think a great leader should be able to sit in a room with those of opposing views and when they all leave, it is understood that they have all had equal time, were truly heard, respected and know that their points of view will be seriously considered. Obviously, the would-be coalition isn't getting that message.

Canadians are sick of politicians this week. Not one leader of a party was respectable this week. I would like to see Mr Harper issue a sincere apology to the opposition, give an admission of his guilt of any part that he was responsible for in the dysfunctional Parliament, and pledge to work to be more conciliatory, and accountable or else he will resign. Otherwise, if the Conservative government does not fall, we will be right back to this point again. Trouble is, once trust is gone, it is very difficult to gain it back...if ever.

There. I've given my opinion. I feel better.

Or do I?

Actually Canadians are sick of a lot of people these days...especially people who call themselves 'Christians'. I don't blame them.

Some 'Christians' feel entitled to spout off their opinions, slamming people who don't agree with them, judging those who they feel are wrong and need to be put in their place, refusing to listen, becoming so incensed with the issue they forget the individual. For what?? To fight for God as if He needs us? To win an argument? To make someone change their opinion? To take a strip off another person? To know that "I'm right and they're wrong"?? To.......feel better? Ouch.

I know myself...and there are many days I am exactly like a 'politician' in my attitudes, actions, words, thoughts. I'm not a leader by nature but every one of us, leader or not, needs humility as a part of their character in order to connect with others. Without humility, we alienate ourselves from people....and from God. And without it we eventually fall very hard.

The world needs humility for peace to reign...but the world is made up of individuals...each of us need to consider the other person better than ourselves, regardless of our differences. Respect, and yes,....that word...'tolerance'. We need to follow the example of the One who washed His disciples' feet and associated with 'sinners'.

Humility towards God and towards people...they go hand in hand.

Speaking of ducks (yes, we were) ....all of us can appear to be gliding along just fine in life....smoothly making progress. But don't forget....there's a whole lot of hard work and paddling that needs to go on unseen beneath the surface to really get anywhere. We're far from perfect and often miss the mark because of our pride. Progress requires humility and offering the same grace to others that we ourselves require. Without it...we sink. And without God to help us achieve it...we're lame ducks (no inference to anyone intended....honest).

Bah humbug!

Someone wasn't in the Christmas spirit.

She didn't really want us to put up the Christmas lights...probably because it meant she'd have to stay inside while we were out in the cold.

Sure glad she doesn't chew everything in sight anymore or she'd be one sick puppy!!

Unlocking closed doors

The other night I had a bit of a disagreement...a spat if you will with my just-turned-20 son. I used poor judgment with my knee-jerk reaction and he became angry about house rules and suggested that he would just move out - an idea he's been tossing around. I think it's important for a young person to move out on their own and learn how to handle life....but not out of anger. Better to go with wisdom, a plan and some goals. I was more concerned in that moment that he would have the desire to set his own wise rules of conduct and boundaries so he would make good choices when he's on his own.

I went to bed to mull over how I could have handled the situation better. I was hurt, not about the incident, but that our relationship was rocky in that moment. I love my son immensely and don't want anything to stand between us. I had a very poor relationship with my mother -we always locked heads on issues and I was bitterly unhappy at home through the teen years. I felt like I was never allowed an opinion. She was just always right, end of discussion. That along with other things left me in a great deal of internal pain that for the most part stayed locked up in me for many years. I vowed I would never have a relationship like that with my own children and I very much embrace the statement found in The Purpose Driven Life, by Rick Warren: "We are products of our past, but we don't have to be prisoners of it. "

But I'll admit I have battled over the stuff that's come out of me that reminds me of what I disliked in my mother. Spills out when I least expect it and annoys me. Amazing how so many responses are 'learned' and stick with us....so engrained we don't even recognize them in ourselves. It makes it difficult to 'unlearn' them. I learned in some studies I took as a young person that if you allow the people who 'grate' you to bug you enough, without realizing it, you actually start to become like them in your character. Funny how that works.

Anyways, as I lay in bed...(mothers do this to themselves)...I thought back to praying over my baby while he was still in my womb, the birth pains, foregoing sleep, sacrificing everything you are and have for the next many years as your life becomes all about raising your child.

Of course children don't recognize or remember the magnitude of sacrifice on their behalf. There is hardly a mother who is not truly hurt when a harsh word is spoken to her by her son or daughter because a mother asks nothing in return for the sacrifice of themselves that they have poured into their children. They quietly take the hits of unkind words, slammed doors, disobedience, etc while holding the love and care of all the years and memories in their hearts, and patiently wait for maturity to settle into their kids.

So being in a self reflective mode, I wasn't ready for what happened next. In that moment it was all about my pain that things were strained with my son....but the next moment was bizarre to me because it hit me out of nowhere. I can't describe it other than as an 'AHA' moment.

I suddenly could clearly see and understand that my mother had had exactly the same pain I was feeling.

In the past I always saw me as the victim and my mother as the one who was wrong, and though I had long ago forgiven her for all the pain I felt she had caused me and felt I was free of all that, I now could see all of my insolence to her, my crappy attitudes, my lack of concern for how she might have been feeling, and my self centered victim excuses, even into my adult years. I hadn't recognized her sacrifices.

My heart just kind of caved in at this revelation and I wept like a baby....a grieving kind of weeping as I have felt at gravesides....as I asked God over and over to forgive me for the pain I caused my mother. You know I can't remember ever seeing her cry, and yet I'm convinced she probably did when no one was around. And I had never cared about that.

So where did all that grieving come from?? I'm 51. That was like...30 years ago. My mom passed away several years ago.


I am not implying that my mother was a horrible person - she wasn't. I think she had her own private pain about stuff and quietly lived with many locked doors inside of her. No one can tell me pain from childhood whether perceived or real doesn't affect you into your adult life...even if you think you've dealt with it. We are often victims of victims. If you had a peaceful life, be very grateful. If you had some rocky times that you've shut away inside, keep your eyes wide open and your heart tuned. It may not be until your own children or other circumstance opens your eyes for an 'AHA' moment to bring healing of past pain.

Come to think of it, I had been meditating on forgiveness earlier in the week in regard to something else and had promised God I would surrender whatever He required of me in this area. Maybe God knew I needed this door unlocked that I wasn't even aware was solidly shut, in order to free me in other areas of my life.

Where are my glasses????

My all-time favourite comic strip is ZITS - I check it daily. Click on the link below and decide which generation you relate to most. I have vivid memories of feeling like Jeremy the teenager in this comic when I was his age, but now....I'm afraid of becoming like my parents.

http://www.arcamax.com/zits/s-431090-612733

It's too funny. And the older I get, the more scary it is that we have moments when things are right there in front of our eyes and we don't see them. Now I don't mean to get all spiritual about a comic strip, but on the other hand.....my previous sentence could be a rather profound statement in the world of faith. Follow me for a minute. The existence of God can neither be proved nor disproved. Faith is as much required by an atheist, as a believer in God. (In my humble opinion, an atheist needs much, much more faith). But I just happen to be convinced that the 5 pairs of reading glasses are right there on the head...and the purse is right there slung around the shoulders...but we don't see....Him....the Creator.

So why does one person not see Him at all, and yet I see Him in everything? (That is not meant as a criticism - it is simply a statement). I purchase fresh flowers every two weeks for my home because I am astounded by every petal and stamen and colour of a beautifully created living thing. I put out bird seed daily to watch amazing creatures that rival any airplane fly about and live in the incredible order of nature. I see the complex nature of the soil and insects and plants and seeds and bulbs in my gardens, as the seasons turn...always without fail. The stars and planets, sun and moon - all perfectly placed to allow our existence. I simply have to think and read about the awesome DNA and complete orderly systems that run and recharge themselves within my own body to be humbly awestruck by the Creator. You could write libraries to fill the universe on all of these amazing 'creations'. I cannot muster enough faith - not even the size of a mustard seed - to ever believe it just happened - no matter how many gazillion years you give it to have evolved.....from nothing. I see a Designer everywhere I look.....while others ask, "Has anyone seen God around here?"

Do I always 'feel' Him? Nope. Do I always 'hear' Him? Nope. There have been times in my life when I have gone through depression and felt absolutely no emotion towards anything. Nothingness. Horrible nothingness. For a very long time. Did I still trust God? Absolutely. At those times in my life I would wake up feeling sick and couldn't even face the day, so I reached for my Bible before my feet hit the ground, immersed myself in it - and chose to believe that God was still there in the nothingness, caring for me. The description of His never changing character and unconditional love held me. I felt nothing, but trusted. And that is what I believe God looks for from us....sometimes even tests it in us. Trust.... in the moments we don't feel, hear or see Him. Faith. Is that stupid? Is it a crutch? Is it just psychological? You are welcome to believe that. But apparently we need to be like little children, with childlike faith - not like rocket scientists (with no offence to those blessed with wonderful brains!).

The thing that cements it for me is the person of Christ. The story is that God himself became one of us in the person of Christ, laid His life flat out for me whether I cared or not, when He didn't have to. That act of mysterious, unrivalled love provided me with the chance to know Him and be with Him when I'm done with this life. That event in history that we are soon to celebrate, screams really loudly to me that He's here. Reeeeeeeeally loudly. In fact, that event provides all the proof and assurance I need that God is alive and well. He gave all that He had, and all that He could. The rest is up to me. I don't think He really needs to prove anything else to me. Do I believe He is the Saviour or do I walk away?

There's a wonderful mystery in humbling myself and trusting Christ. It's no longer a decision my mind has made....it becomes deeply spiritual. As I respond in love and profound gratitude to Him, His Spirit brings His words alive. The Bible that could otherwise be a history or theological book to me, now has life within its pages and it changes me as I respond. Christ refers to Himself as the bride of His church. Would we ever marry someone to only have an intellectual relationship with? No. It moves from the mind to the heart and into the spirit. His love and care for me is personal. I'm forgiven and I'm loved by the One who knows me.

He could choose to send angels or things to 'convince' me that He's real - but then I would not need faith, nor would I respond with a heartfelt love. He could have made me a robot to force a response to Him, but I believe He gave Himself completely to win me, and now yearns for a willing, loving, trusting response in return. Then it is truly a deep, loving, spiritual bond between us. The more years I live, the more I really do see Him in everything, hear Him in my spirit and know that His Spirit lives in me. I can't possibly be convinced otherwise. It has nothing to do with how I feel or the circumstances in my life. It's more than can be understood or figured out with the mind - my heart and spirit is engaged. At times, it's overwhelming that I'm allowed to live in this place. Who can understand that God would want anything to do with me? It's beyond comprehension. It's called joy - even when I'm not happy. It holds me during the rough times when the faith gets tested again. Should I ever plunge again into the darkness of depression, He will still hold me.

I read an article by Dale Fincher who told of an encounter with a dying man who pointed to the sea at sunset and asked "Where's God?" Funny how one can look at a sunset and ask that, while others are overwhelmed and see Him everywhere in the beautiful painted sky. What do you see? I'm going to have a look at that comic strip again. Question to self: In the light of what I've just rambled about.....which generation do I now think I identify with?

Addendum: I drafted most of this blog Saturday night. Sunday morning I was driving to church alone as my husband was called in to work. The song below (What Can I Do, by Paul Baloche)kicked in on our CD player and voiced everything I was trying to say above. I cranked it and drove through misty eyes to church. To some, it's just a song. To millions who truly know their Saviour, it's a hearts cry. Listen with your heart....

NOT an emergency!

In my arrogance I used to wonder how some of my co-workers could ever dial 911 (Canada's emergency phone number) by accident at work. Practically everyone in our office has done it once or twice. Our office's phone system requires us to dial '9' for an outside line before commencing the rest of the number which of course must be followed by '1' before the area code. How could they be so careless to let their finger linger too long on the '1'??

Then about a year ago I was the guilty party. It's a terrible feeling when you know you have just dialed 911 in error and they won't go away. You can't hang up. They will find you. And if you don't talk to them, you'll be seeing a fire truck, ambulance, and police on the scene, so you'd better fess up right away. At the very least, it is required that a cop come and visit you because it's their policy. I managed to talk the dispatcher out of sending the police, but I was just lucky that they broke policy that time.

Well............yesterday I did it again. I had to swallow my pride and despite my begging to the dispatcher, she said a police officer would be visiting me at the office shortly. While my co-workers snickered (oh they pretended they weren't), I slunk up to the front of the office and sheepishly greeted the 20-something cop who very politely poised his pen on his notebook and took down my name, my phone number and my birthdate. Why did they need my birthdate?? I figured that as he jotted it down, he was quietly surmising....mhmm...senility setting in....makes sense at that age. He kindly smiled and said, "Thank you ma'am. Sorry to have bothered you" (??), and I replied "No problem". (Tell me, what was WRONG with that conversation?)

I wish that was the end of my story. It's not.

Today.....yet again.....only hours later..........I stuttered on that '1' key again. Sick feeling. Dumb idiot feeling. I want to die feeling. Shouldn't they just fire me feeling. I pleaded with the dispatcher not to send the police, but somehow telling her that I did the same thing yesterday didn't seem the wisest thing to say. As I waited for the police officer, I hoped with all my heart it would not be the 20-something cop from yesterday. I went to the lone male co-worker whose too-thinly walled cubicle is surrounded by cubicles inhabited by menopausal women (that would include me) and told him he might as well just mock me now and get it over with. He was very kind. My phone rang. It was the police station verifying my location - the police would be there momentarily. I decided to head the cop off at the pass, rather than face a second day of humiliation in front of everyone at the front desk. I went out in the hall and met him there before he could enter the office. Thankfully it was not the same young fellow. This guy took no notes, just very kindly said he was so glad I was okay and that there was no emergency, and to my apology he replied not to worry - everyone slips up.

Three strikes and you're out? I am now paranoid. When I need to use the phone located to my left on the desk, I will stop using my left hand to dial which I just recently started to do (I'm right handed). I will pull my hand away immediately after the '9-1', even if I don't think the '1' quite got pressed.

It should be noted that several years ago I removed 911 from the programmed keys on my phone at home....after the dispatcher told me to......because I had pressed it while cleaning the keys of the phone. She wisely said it only takes 2 seconds to dial 911, so don't program it in!

I am resigned to count myself fortunate that our emergency system is well tested..... by people like me..... and we can count on patient, kind people to be there for us in the event of a real crisis!

Demise of the Money Plant

The whole world's talking about economic woes. I have a few of my own.

Back in the spring of April 2007, I posted this picture on a blog of a lush plant I bought and was so excited to find out it is called a money plant.

I was hoping to find tens or twenties growing on it within a year or so.

Well here we are a year and a half later, and I will tell you I'm a better outdoor gardener than indoor. Apparently the darn thing needed water or something. I'm ashamed to post the picture, but here's what that plant looks like now. Pathetic.

I'm afraid that may be a picture of some people's savings and pensions given the latest economic crisis, and I do not jest about that. It must be a terribly frightening time especially for seniors who had planned to live on money that has now dried up, just like my plant. Very troubling indeed.

Somehow I think many in our North American culture have come to believe we will always be secure and have plenty, and though there is poverty all around us in our urban centres, those of us with a paycheque and a comfortable life can find it easy to become oblivious to those with little. Hunger to us, is when our stomach rumbles after having had 2-3 meals that day, with snacks in between. Our spare time is taken in amusing ourselves, spending plenty of time and money on entertainment lest we succumb to boredom. Maybe we need a bit of a shakeup?

If you asked an average child/teen/twenty year old in our North American culture what their favorite activities are, what would their responses be? Video games, IPOD, cell phone, IPhone, MSN, MySpace, TV, going to a movie, hangin' out with friends.....?

This week I got an update from a friend who is 14 and she lists her 3 top favorite activities as:

1) sweeping,

2) fetching water,

3) washing clothes.

Fetching water.

That's probably a clue that the other favorite...washing clothes... will be a chore done without a washing machine. If these are her favorite activities, does she know the meaning of the word leisure?

Picture yourself fetching water everytime you need some for drinking, cooking, washing, and growing your food. Kinda puts the Iphone on the back burner.

About a year ago we began to sponsor this teenager, Josiane, through World Vision. She lives in Rwanda and is in grade 4. Her parents died some time ago. She lives with relatives with a family of their own and they find it difficult to care for her. Here is the description from World Vision of Josiane's community:

"The social fabric of the community has been ravaged by Hutu and Tutsi genocide. Your child has survived the killing of thousands of friends, neighbours or fellow citizens. Unfortunately, many of Rwanda's families are headed by widows with no means of support. More than 85,000 families ...{can you grasp that number?} ... are headed by children - sometimes as young as 11."

I truly feel for people in our culture who are struggling financially through no fault of their own. Perhaps it's a time for all of us to take stock of all we have, be grateful for a roof, a bed, food and clothes, and give out of any abundance we have beyond that, to those who don't even have those basics. That said in a week when a complaint has been filed with the New Brunswick Human Rights Commission, declaring that high speed internet should be a basic human right, as opposed to 'suffering' with the misery of dialup. Oh my. Maybe we should make sure everyone has food first?

Amazing Autumn

These are a few shots I took on Thanksgiving weekend. But if you want to enjoy real photography....head on over to

nature55's photostream on Flickr

and enjoy this person's amazing slideshow!

Pie in the Sky

{ We interrupt this normally peaceful blogplace with an uncharacteristic rant }

I really dislike listening to negative people go on and on about politics and how the government is this and that....and yet here I am...at the end of an election campaign....ranting. I know I'm ridiculous with my pie in the sky wish for politicians to 'get along'. But really, why can't they? Or do they work together well behind the scenes and it just never makes it to the media?? Canadians would agree that politicians need to grow up...and in fact Rick Mercer gave an awesome rant on election night on just this subject. If you missed it, you can watch it here (Page 2, Rick's Rant).

At home, we teach our kids to be polite, to listen and respect other people's opinions. It's rude to yell at others, to interrupt them when they're speaking, to disrespect or dig up rumours and spread them to slander another person.

At work, we are taught team building and conflict resolution skills. We are assured that no idea is ever stupid but has merit and is worthy of consideration. And if there is a problem, you attack the issue, not the person.

So why, with issues so important as to affect our whole country, do we not embrace these skills to solve problems and bring solutions for the good of all Canadians? We entrust our money to politicians. And we trust them to make decisions and implement changes that affect our lives in so many ways. So why are many of them immune from acting like responsible adults, and degrade themselves in the House to everything I would hope they taught their children not to do and be?

I suppose Parliament has always been this way(?). Perhaps politicians view themselves as being 'strong' and nobly fighting for a good cause when they yell and insult each other. But it's really more often about the party and its leader surviving for another term in office, not the long term future for our grand children's children. I would say most Canadians don't care as much about political parties anymore as they do about having a job, food on their table, health care for their families, education, the future of the planet, etc. Is it any wonder many are just apathetic about politicians and trust few, if any of them? (This is NOT to say we should give up, not vote, or not be involved in the process. Apathy is just as bad as the politicians' behaviour.) There are many well meaning, wonderful MPs and MPPs and I commend them for the hard work they do for their constituents, but how frustrating must that job be when you are opposed on all sides in what you wish to achieve?

My pie in the sky political dream came about as I sat and watched the Debate between the leaders of the main parties. Remember that? They all sat around a table together. Check out these images. It may be the last time you see them for a while.

(Is Harper contemplating giving a kiss to Duceppe? Create your own caption.) So....if those people could be amiable for one evening (although they politely ripped the faces off each other in debate), what could happen if all of them put their ideas on the table and no one lit into the other about how stupid their idea is?

Be ridiculous with me. We're listening to The Debate. The opposition leaders attack Harper, pounding him on his record, calling him a liar, and spouting why their ideas are superior and his will never work. Harper turns and says, "You know Stephane and Elizabeth, you have some excellent ideas in your platform. We may not be able to afford some of them, but I'd like us to take a long look at what you've proposed and see what agreement we can come to. I realize we differ greatly in many areas but at the end of the day we all want Canadians to benefit from this. You've done a great job in detailing what Canadians see as important, your platform is strong, and I'd like to strive to reach a consensus on the more difficult issues on which we disagree. And Jack, I completely agree with the principles you're talking about. I see different ways in achieving those goals and we all know the areas in which we disagree, but I'd like to implement some of what you've proposed, and I'd like you to consider some of my proposals as well. And I think you've been doing an excellent job in this campaign informing the voters of the key issues." Then witness speechless politicians.

Grossly exaggerated but you get the point. But no, it's about winning votes, even if it means slandering the other guy and his ideas. Not about consensus or agreement. At least not on the campaign trail.

Each platform has something salvageable in it for everyone. So why can't politicians lay it all out, pull out all the pieces from each platform that have workable, achievable ideas right now; begin the work toward give-and-take compromise to bring solutions around the table, instead of attacking each other. Yes, there's a party 'in power', but why can't all ideas be respected from all parties and the 'no one is stupid and every idea has merit' principle be in affect? I've always found it interesting when a great political leader dies - all of sudden the opposing leaders, who had so viciously attacked the deceased when they were living, now have the most wonderful things to say about the person. So why not recognize strengths in leaders now while they're living, and utilize them all to build a great country of Canada?

Never mind. How ridiculous! I'm stupid and my idea doesn't have merit.

{ Rant is complete. We now return you to our regularly peaceful blogplace. }

Addendum: I drafted the above blog during the counting of the ballots on election night. I'd had enough of the campaign and tired of the rhetoric. Last night I listened to each of the leader's speeches when it was all over. Jack, Stephane and Steven all spoke respectably of each other (even though nobody had died yet!) and talked of working together in this Conservative minority framework to achieve similar goals for Canadians. Here's hoping they remember their words and sit down around a Boardroom table again with the good of Canadians first and foremost. And just maybe it's our job not to slander the politicians in return, lest we be just as guilty of the behaviour we despise...... but to cover them with prayer... now there's an idea with merit!

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving

today, don't focus on

....your circumstances

....how you feel

....how you wish things were

....your disappointments and hurts

....your fears for the future

...these things change from moment to moment...

focus instead on the Unchangeable One

...and give Him thanks

you won't always feel it.....

but He's got you covered on all sides with His love.

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good!

His faithful love endures forever.

Psalm 107:1 - The Bible (New Living Translation)

Eyes of Respect (or what I learned at a Catholic church)

It's been another one of those months....too many visits to funeral homes. Today was like deja vu as many of my work friends gathered at the same Catholic church for funeral mass that we did over a year ago for another co-worker. Today we honoured the memory of a woman who left work four years ago with breast cancer and over the last few weeks she had enough of the fight and passed away. She was seven years older than me.

I find it interesting to visit churches of other faiths and observe. The Catholic church is, of course, steeped in traditions and rituals that are very old. I sat beside a co-worker who is Catholic and I asked her to nudge me if there was something I should be doing. I stood when everyone stood. I couldn't respond with the appropriate phrases because I didn't know when. I didn't kneel at the bench or take communion as I was not allowed to. And I really didn't know what to voice to God when the priest asked us to bow our heads to pray for the deceased. I recognized the Scriptures and the gospel and the reflections on the place Christ was preparing and that He was coming back for us. And I wondered if God was comfortable here.

As I walked back to work with my co-worker I asked her if she could clarify something I've always been curious about. I asked her if it was okay for Catholics to pray directly to God, because in a moment of crisis, doesn't everyone (including atheists!) cry out to God for help? If so, what was the purpose of the priest and confession, particularly since they also believe that Christ is the Saviour and therefore, is He not the one who forgives us and is the mediator between us and God? She stated emphatically that they can pray to God themselves, but that they go to the priest for the stuff you need forgiveness for. Then she said that actually things have changed a lot over the years and now you really only have to confess the big stuff to the priest. I asked how you draw the line at 'big stuff' and she clarified that it would be mortal sins, like killing someone, and things like that...I think her voice trailed off. Then she said, 'But I really think it's just because the priest wants to know what you've been up to!' to which she broke off in peals of laughter. She did go on to tell me of a monk she enjoyed who told everyone they need to 'lighten up', have fun, and enjoy their Christianity, and that the church must be relevant to the current generation. On that point we totally agreed.

I'm still contemplating one thing the priest said when talking of the care the family gave during this woman's illness. He stated that compassion is not something that can be done from a distance. It takes your involvement in time and effort, your continual care and love, setting aside your own agenda for the need of another. And it means giving respect to that person. Respect comes from the same word as spectacles (glasses) - think of it as a pair of glasses you put on - you look out through the eyes of respect at the person, not back at yourself and your needs. (It's not all about me).

With the needs of people all around us, the gift of compassion and respect to others can fill up an entire lifetime. I was reminded again today that life itself can be far too short. Let's leave gifts wherever we go!

All praise to the God and Father of our Master, Jesus the Messiah! Father of all mercy! God of all healing counsel! He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us.

The Message Bible, II Corinthians 1:3,4

Hidden songs

by the hand of Your Spirit
play the strings of my heart
and reveal

all my
hidden songs

by Your love

let me hear it



when the song in my heart is not for You

hold me in Your hands
receive me as I am
and take
take me away
I wanna be in the secret place

on the waves of Your mercy
I will sail on Your sea
I will give to You all of me

in the light of Your glory
I will lay on my face and worship You




hold me in Your hands
receive me as I am

and take
take me away
I wanna be in the secret place
with You is where I wanna be

Lord I worship You
Lord I love You
Lord I love You
Lord I need You
Lord I love You
Lord I need You
Lord I worship You

and I lift my heart and my hands to You
all my days

Secret Place, By Lincoln Brewster

He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under
the shadow of the Almighty.
Psalm 91:1

The Bible, New King James Version

Striking artwork

Yesterday I came across a rather unique artist's rendering of a bird not unlike a sparrow but with a slightly longer tail. Notice the white breast feathers, the brown and delicate black shadings on its wings, and its head tucked out of sight under its wing. Varying textures were used throughout to give a 3-D affect. Interposed on the canvas behind the bird, is a barely visible camera as if to suggest a birdwatcher capturing the moment. Interesting and striking piece of work.

Well, the artist part might not be the whole truth.

But it definitely involves a bird, perhaps a large one.....striking...yah, that would be accurate.

Actually, here's another picture of it which will perhaps give you a different perspective. That is a car door handle at the upper left.

It was indeed a striking piece of work, and according to my husband, it was not a beautiful sight to clean it up! See...I've been telling you birds are creative creatures!

Let the Games Begin...(and the Promises)

Gotta love Canadian politics. We will be exposed to 6 intense weeks of election fervour as opposed to...what is it?...2....or does it seem like 5 years of American campaign rhetoric?

The competition has begun. And after hearing the promises starting to roll in today, I have just one piece of advice for the party leaders that may save a lot of needless arguing.

Why not simply make a promise similar to that of the big box stores?

"For every single thing our opposition promises....we'll
beat it by 10%. Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back."

Of Cardinals and Crows

If it's not already evident, I am an avid bird watcher - well at least in my own neighbourhood. I'm not a junkie or anything - like those people who go out at early morning hours into wooded areas or ponds to count birds and keep records...

But I keep an eye on the birds in our yard and lately it's been all about cardinals and crows. Who doesn't love a cardinal? Beautiful, graceful, faithful birds. The most I have ever seen at a time is usually a family of four. Mom and Dad take turns helping each other feed and raise the young son and daughter - everything but the picket fence and the golden retriever....(well actually she is nearby). But this year I can't even count all the cardinals. I've counted up to nine at once in a tree and then I lose track. So we have set up special feeders just for them (try to tell that to the squirrels), with their favorite offering of sunflower and safflower seeds.

Tonight we spotted yet another small baby cardinal being steadily, faithfully fed by his Dad from one of our feeders. But then we heard the 'Caw Caw!!' of a crow above and Dad flew off. I don't know if the baby is okay because we had to leave.

Crows around our place always seem to travel in threes. When you're used to viewing songbirds, the crows remind me of huge thugs from the mafia - with New Joisey accents and cigars in their mouths. It got me interested in what crows eat - I was hoping it wasn't baby birds, but well...let's not talk about that.

I googled crows and did a little research. I've always heard that crows were super intelligent so I got a chuckle out of this video on Youtube.

And this one, though it made me a little nervous. (I don't like wild birds around who might be more intelligent than me).

Although I think it's very cool, I doubt you'll find me doing this with any crow (or raven) anytime soon....nor with a skittish cardinal, though I'd love to.

More SCC

I really do listen to other music than just Steven Curtis Chapman's. Really. But bear with me as I share a third blog in a row with his name in it. I have always drawn strength from so many of his lyrics, but I believe so many more people are going to relate to his music now - especially with what he produces in future - with the depth of grief he has experienced.

If you are interested, here are links to interviews he and his family did this week to talk about the grief they have been working through. Have a kleenex handy and listen to one with Good Morning America and the other with Larry King on CNN - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 and Part 6 (Part 6 has the new verse to 'Yours', as in my previous blog).

Yours

"I’ve walked the valley of death’s shadow

So deep and dark that I could barely breathe

I’ve had to let go of more than I could bear

And questioned everything that I believe

But still even here in this great darkness

A comfort and hope come breaking through

As I can say in life or death

God we belong to you."


Steven Curtis Chapman - "Yours"

(The above is a brand new verse 4 that has been added to the original song since recently walking through that valley and losing his 5 year old daughter.)