Friday, February 27, 2009

Foggy morning



I went to work in a fog this morning.

Just before going out the door my husband, who had quickly perused the obituaries, informed me that an acquaintance had passed away suddenly while on vacation. He was 53.

My mind immediately went back to the last moment I had spoken with this now deceased man - a great guy - and his wife. We had been standing in a very long line in a funeral home and some of our reflections together had been how so many younger people that we have known have passed away. In a few days, this man's family will gather in the same funeral home, perhaps even in that very room, to mourn his passing.

I drove to work in a blur, sat down at my desk blinking back tears, took a deep breath, and wanted to curl up in a fetal position and sob for this man's wife and his two sons, though I really don't know them well.

Death and separation stinks. We feel helpless when it happens and we can't change it. Some days it seems just too hard to handle. Grieving can last for such a very long time. We can't just 'snap out of it'. Life seems to grind to a halt. The sadness of the loss can be triggered very suddenly by memories, music, sounds, even smells, long after we think we should be moving on with life. Over time the memories will become happy ones to revisit, but for now, they elicit pain. But grieving is necessary. Weeping is necessary to bring healing. And friends need to stand alongside, grieving with the heartbroken, interceding for peace and hope to uphold them.

There is One who is very acquainted with grief and with death. He grieves alongside and will never leave us. Death makes us feel very alone, but we can trust that He is as close as the next breath we take, for as long as we breathe....and then for eternity. Here we live in an imperfect world of which death is a part. But it is the unseen world that is far more real than anything we can fathom.

Eternity.
Hope.
Expectation.
Reunion.

Right now life can be foggy. But then....we shall see clearly. Hope will be realized....and loved ones embraced.
We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright!
We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him
directly just as he knows us! But for right now, until that
completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation:
Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of
the three is love.

(I Corinthians 13: 12-13 The Message Bible)
(Note: The above photo is the work of Giuseppe Andrea Mosca. Click on the picture to see more of his stunning work on Flickr. Thank you Giuseppe. This photo captures such a beautiful thought!)

Monday, February 23, 2009

Uninvited guest at the table

I have a broken but adequate dish outside our front door that serves as a table for invited guests...of the bird variety of course. Birds of all kinds come to dine and I can hear their chatter when I pull in the driveway as they await my arrival home.

If I don't provide dinner right away, they sit at the empty table, looking in the window of the door....waiting.

After it is filled, they quickly pounce...often within seconds of the door closing as I retreat into the house again.

















This morning I wasn't prepared for who was waiting for a handout.

I wouldn't mind feeding him if he would eat seeds or fruit. He might be handsome, but I wasn't about to provide any of my beautiful birds for him to eat. I purposely put out some peanuts for the crows today because they pester, chase and dive at this hawk.




Never thought I'd want crows in my yard, but I'm beginning to appreciate them!

Monday, February 16, 2009

No more

Now I ask you girls.....is there any better Valentine's gift than a brand new, sparkling clean toilet?
That works?

Look at this beauty.

No more leaving the lid off the tank indefinitely and pulling the chain to make it flush (maybe).

No more desperately mopping up the floor when the toilet decides to overflow instead of flush.

No more 'guests' choosing to go somewhere else to use the toilet rather than chance using ours.

No more.

I had one other little surprise on Valentine's Day. I saw a robin! I had heard him a few days earlier, and though I'm quite sure our robins don't leave us for the winter, I was still so encouraged to see him!

Soon there will be

no more snow,
no more ice,
no more cold,
no more short days.
No more.

Just warmth and spring bulbs and lilacs and toilets that flush.

Heavenly.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Toilets and Valentines


My Valentine's gift this year is a toilet. My husband is the king of romance.

Oh it might not thrill you, but I'm quite excited about a new toilet...I've wanted a new one for several years. But for the last month the crappy thing has not been behaving very well, and when you only have one bathroom in the house, that's not a good thing. So we hope to buy a toilet this weekend and install it soon. My husband and plumbing don't get along so well, but installing a toilet's got to be better than fixing an old one!

Actually, my husband is the king of romance. He's always been one to try to pull off surprises and he's gotten better at it over the years - I used to be able to read the hints, but he's learned not to drop them anymore. He walked in the house Thursday night with a dozen red roses and fresh chocolate dipped strawberries....to avoid the rush and the cost. I thought I had him trained not to buy expensive roses, but he promises me he got a deal.
Even so, it's not the surprises that I love most about him. It's the every day guy that he is. We have been married for 28 years (gee, it used to be really old people that would say that.....we got married when we were both 12), and honestly, this man has brought coffee to my bedside every morning of our married life. He used to bring toast as well until I finally requested that he not bring it anymore - too many crumbs in the bed and it got tedious when the dog joined our family. Now, maybe he has always brought me coffee because I'm not a morning person and it's his way of saying, 'Get out of bed you lazy bum', but he's never given that impression. He's just kindhearted and unselfish....right down to the bones. Even on mornings he's left for work extra early and warns me that there won't be a coffee for me because he doesn't have time....I've often heard him coming into the house anyways and sneaking my Timmy's coffee onto the kitchen counter.

I have had mornings I've slept in and am rushing around to get out the door for work, mentally deciding to buy my lunch that day....only to see that even though he's been rushed too, he has prepared me a lunch and there it sits all packed for me to take!! And that was after he cleaned the snow off my car and warmed it up for me!

If I start dreaming of a project or changes I'd like done around the house, or somewhere I'd like to go, I've learned not to say anything unless I really, really want it. Otherwise, even if he disagrees at first, I suddenly realize he's begun to plot it out in his mind as to how he can make it happen. Before I know it, the project or trip is under way.

He is faithful and steady in all he does, consistent in devotional time with God, and loyal to family, friends, and church.

I am a selfish woman married to an unselfish man. I don't deserve him and don't know how he puts up with me, but I am most grateful for him!


Happy Valentine's Day sweetheart!

Thank you for all the big and little things you do, and for being you.

I love you!

Everybody say awwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Stupid other women drivers

I was laughing hysterically over the Youtube clip below of stupid things women drivers have done... until a couple of scenes admittedly made me wince.

I still have a phobic fear of car washes, even the 'touchless' ones. When my kids were young I was driving a van load of kids home from school and decided that it would be a wonderful, fun experience for them all to take the van through the car wash. Well it was an experience. The car wash was not 'touchless' - you had to lodge your wheels into the ruts in order for the vehicle to be washed. I managed to totally miss the ruts, turned my wheels, and got the van hopelessly...and I mean hopelessly stuck. I could not move it forward or back. I had to sheepishly inform one of the workers that I was completely stuck in the car wash and could not dislodge the van. About 2-3 guys came out and tried rocking it and pushing, even trying to lift it. Nothing. The kids were all laughing. Soon they had to get every single guy that worked at the gas station to come into the car wash. One got in the van while all the rest of them rocked and rolled to get that van out. I was humiliated beyond words. I dared not look outside to see how many had gathered to watch. I hate that 'woman driver' stigma! The men were finally able to dislodge the van. I can't remember if the van actually got washed - I'm sure it didn't. And to this day, I just can't get behind the wheel to drive through a car wash. Some day, I will do it and free myself from my phobia.

The other stupid thing I did once...but not nearly as well as the woman in the clip below does!!! I had observed someone fill up their gas tank using the hose from the other side of the pump when all the others were in use. In my case, I had not been able to pull up far enough to the gas pump because of the guy in front of me. It wouldn't reach my car. I didn't find that out until I had already punched in my debit card information. The guy in front was nowhere near finished. So I got in my car and pulled around to the other side of that particular gas pump to try to pull the same hose through to my car. The debit information had now cleared off the gas pump and my debit card had now slipped below the seat of the car. As I rummaged around for it, I realized how ridiculous this whole scenario would look to anyone watching. I mean I'm punching in numbers on the wrong side of the gas pump. I, of course, could not reach the hose around to my car on this side either, and had to drive the car back to the original spot which was now reachable and I started all over again! Mercifully, I do not yet recognize myself on any Youtube movies. BUT, at least I didn't take a 'ride' with the hose as the lady below does...watch for her!

However, her 'ride' does remind me of a tarzan-like swing I took once through the air on a pulley system my husband devised to clean outside chimney pipes.....when I was pregnant. He pulled down.... I went up. I was clinging to the rope, feet dangling too far from the ground and I was left to swing like an ape back and forth over the driveway for the neighbours delight. It was hard to hang on because I was weeping with laughter. Did I mention I was pregnant? What a sight.

Sigh. The good Lord must know I need humility. Enjoy this clip. Watch it right to the end. (Surely at least some of those drivers must be male...)

Friday, February 6, 2009

Empty Nest


Tomorrow our nest will be empty. We will be helping to move our son to live in another city with a couple of buddies - thankfully very responsible, good buddies! He has been eager to get out on his own, and he has expressed that he needs to 'push' himself to get out and be required to become less dependent on parents. I can't agree more with him that it is healthy to want to move on and chart his own course.

Isn't parenthood crazy? You spend every waking moment attached to your children..... caring, teaching, guiding, encouraging.......and then before you know it, you're supposed to just let them walk out of your world. I had become so close with my daughter that I wondered how I would manage when she left for college four years ago. When she left home (city of 86,000), she was living by herself in Toronto (city of 2.48 million) and phoned every night the first week and never stopped talking. Then, the calls stopped coming so frequently and I had to calm myself that she was just fine, assuring myself that she'd made it home safely that night and that she has a life!! I quickly learned to cope quite well, and in fact I'd probably have a hard time coping if she ever moved back here....mainly because she is so happy in her life and I've seen the positive results of her having to (sometimes) struggle through decision making and planning in every area of life and she has blossomed as a lovely young woman. We're still right here for her, cheering her on, and providing advice and encouragement. I could never wish her back here though. It would stifle her growth and maturity as an individual.

So now, it is our son's turn and again we will be right here for him when he needs us, supporting him and loving him, and watching from the grandstands, cheering him on.

Of course, I must give a brief 'bird' analogy here. The coolest thing I've heard about the 'empty nest' was from my Pastor when he talked about eagles. He said he had the opportunity to watch an adult eagle 'push' its baby from the nest. That may sound cruel, particularly when you consider that eagles' nests are in very high trees or even on cliffs. Indeed there are immature, cruel parents out there who shove their kids out the door, not out of love, but because they don't want them around anymore for whatever reason, and the kids crash, wounded and abandoned. The Pastor said he saw the young eaglet drop from the nest, desperately flapping its wings as it quickly descended through the air. But the adult eagle immediately and smoothly flew in underneath the young one, with its strong wings extended and provided support as the eaglet learned to glide. The adults were always there for the fledgling with support, guidance and strength. What a beautiful picture!

Below is a video someone patiently filmed of a young eaglet preparing itself to finally leave the only place it had known, and then its eventual first flight. He learns some pretty cool dance steps until he's ready to jump. There's lots of flapping of wings until he will learn to ride the air currents and effortlessly soar in freedom with outstretched wings for hours on end like his parents. Parachute jumpers....eat your heart out! How could I selfishly keep my babies indefinitely confined to the nest when freedom, growth, experience and wisdom await them beyond? It would be like keeping their wings clipped. Fly away son...and we'll be right there to support you!

.....um.... but leave the keys to the car. It's staying home with us.