Swan song

Yesterday started out serenely. We had to get our daughter to her church in Toronto for an early meeting, so after dropping her off, we drove to a nearby park and just watched the swans and geese on the lake. I wished I had my camera as the swans pointed their rear ends to the sky while scouring below the water for food (those swans above are taken from my archive of B.C. swans). It was a wonderfully peaceful, contemplative way to start a Sunday morning before church. I asked God while looking out over the lake and beyond to the CN tower and highrise buildings, to stir me inside to what moves His heart, what he wants me to do, and what changes need to happen in me. I find that easy enough to voice but very difficult to really mean because the 'changes' part is often too painful a process.

Back at the church the service began with its usual blend of wonderful worship music among many cultures of friendly people. It was cool to learn that the pastors (a husband/wife team) have asked a couple from halfway around the world to come and be their worship leaders. They had heard them lead worship when they spent time living in Hong Kong, and though they had never met them, they knew one day if they ever started a church, these were the people they would ask to come and lead. This morning this couple led the worship, and will return to Hong Kong for their children and move to Toronto shortly. Very cool.

Today was Graduation Sunday at the church. Each of the kids who is graduating Grade 8 or 12 was called to the front to say a word about their aspirations and then the pastors prayed over each of them separately. Each of these kids receives a $1,000 scholarship free from the church simply to show the church's support for them - that they believe in them and are investing in their future. That amounts to $2,000 each if they attend the church right from grade 8 to 12! That all sounds very generous and very kind. Wonderful gesture indeed.

But as the pastors went from student to student, my daughter whispered something in my ear that I will not share here, but it gripped me and caused me to start blubbering where I sat and I had a hard time maintaining my composure after that. These kids look like ordinary kids on the outside, and I'm sure many in the church are none the wiser. But you can't believe the obstacles they face in their families. Almost every one has no father in their life. Their mothers....I can't even go there. No family support and no real hope for a good future apart from someone believing in them and loving them. It explained why there was a tremble in the pastor's voice as she also fought to keep her composure. She knows their stories intimately. She prayed passionately for each one...blessing for each life and each future, and the knowledge that they are deeply loved. They deserve respect and a future. They matter.

Over their time at this church, some of these kids have also received free trips to camp with free sleeping bags and gifts, meals, school supplies and Christmas gifts. Thank God for people who care and cherish and invest in those who have little hope. The urban poor are all around us though we may not notice it until we take the time to look deeper.

The pastor spoke on becoming a world changer. She had us all say out loud, "I am a world changer." It was difficult for me to say that....not just because I'm a naturally quiet person (and my husband says, 'Whaaat?????)...but because I'm not sure I believe it. She pointed out that it is just ordinary people who God has used to change the world. That leaves me without excuse. I am as ordinary as they come.

I think I need to do a little more swan watching...as long as I don't stay there. There's a world waiting that needs.........me?

As each day passes by,
I feel my love run dry.
I get so weary, worn,
And tossed around in the storm.
Well I'm blind to others needs,
And I'm tired of planting seeds.
I seem to have a wealth,
Of so many thoughts about myself.
I want to, I need to, be more like Jesus.
I want to, I need to, be more like Him.
Our Father's will was done,
By giving us His Son,
Who paid the highest cost,
To point us to the cross.
And when I think of Him,
Taking on the whole world's sin,
I take one look at me,
Compared to what I'm called to be.
I want to, I need to, be more like Jesus.
I want to, I need to, be more like Him.
Remember, there's no greater love,
Then to lay down your life for a friend.
The end of all my prayers,
Is to care like my Lord cares.
My one and only goal,
His image in my soul.
Yes my weakness is revealed,
When by His stripes I'm healed.
He's faithful and He's true,
To complete the work he begins in you.

I Want To Be More Like Jesus - by Keith Green