I ended a relationship today. We knew it had to end. The cost was too great. Although it ended with a hug, things had gotten strained.....especially my tendons.
Yes, today was the end of bootcamp with my personal trainer (Woot!!!!!). She was great and I love her, but there were moments I thought I was going to die!
I signed up for all of this... not out of vanity, but necessity. I was truly afraid one day I would no longer be able to move to get out of bed. Pretty well all the women I work with are menopausal (pity the one man among us!). We all ache and groan and compare notes as to how much sleep we got the night before. Our jobs are stationary at a computer all day.
In November I could stand it no longer. I determined that I was going to get my body moving and stop feeling like I'm 80 long before my time. Without any more thought, I joined the gym and agreed at the interview that I would need a trainer to help me. I particularly wanted to build bone and was afraid of hurting myself by just launching out without help. We settled on 13 lessons for the price of 12...no problem. I nearly fell off my chair of a heart attack when I heard the price. (What have I done!) At that point, I couldn't back out, so this would just have to be my Christmas present to myself....and birthday present, and next year's Christmas present...and so on.
I remember the feeling after my first session. I went to my car and sat. I wasn't sure I could raise my arms to the steering wheel. Every ounce of energy was drained from me. I was a zombie in an empty shell. But I knew I was doing the right thing. Each session was that much harder. The trainer worked each muscle until fatigued - completely fatigued. And then there was the mini-marathon in the training room which was gruelling to say the least. Running, jumping, skipping, push ups, crunches = agony. I longed for the end...put me out of my misery!
After today, I am on my own. I have done stuff I would never have tackled by myself and have surprised myself at what I am capable of doing if I push myself. The trainer has taught me how to keep going when I want to give up...to always drive for just a little more...a little harder...a little better. It will not always be easy to stay motivated, and there are things I'd much rather be doing, but it feels so good afterwards to have disciplined myself and kept my eye on the goal.
[Of course, you know I can 'spiritualize' all this (don't I always?). Are we so motivated to serve Christ, that we give it all of our effort ....drive a little harder....eyes on the goal? Do we have a mentor....a 'personal trainer' from whom we willingly accept words of correction when they see us falter, and words of encouragement that prod us to do better?]
I have a VERY long way to go. But it has amazed me just how much you can do that you never believed you could, when it becomes important to you. Perhaps desperation is the key. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to have a large piece of cheesecake (kidding!!!)
"Exercise daily in God—no spiritual flabbiness, please! Workouts in the gymnasium are useful, but a disciplined life in God is far more so, making you fit both today and forever. You can count on this. Take it to heart. This is why we've thrown ourselves into this venture so totally. We're banking on the living God, Savior of all men and women, especially believers."
From The Message Bible, I Timothy 4:8-10
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