Happy Birthday Son

Today you are 19. Today it's hard to believe that last year at this time we were struggling with delayed sleep phase syndrome and wondering how you could make it through school. My mornings were often spent battling tears on the way to work, not because you had disappointed me, but because it was painful to see you battle with this condition that wouldn't allow you to do what you desired to do. I am so grateful to God that our prayers regarding your schooling were answered. And in that answer you have persevered....and now you are swiftly moving in on reaching your goal.

I suppose many parents would be annoyed in the middle of the night to hear the sounds of a guitar filtering through the walls and heating vents. But I sincerely love hearing those guitar strains and your voice at any hour...day or night. Too soon you will leave us and the house will be all too quiet. It is soothing to me to hear you sing and play...especially on your acoustic. You have often left pages of your thoughts lying around, lyrics scratched out in the moment. Many of them speak of regrets and brokenness....but all of your songs end in hope, restoration, and renewed commitment.

It's what I love about you. You think deeply....you cut through to the real issue...you challenge the ordinary.... you consider most of your choices carefully. Yes, you have regrets, as do we all...but I hope that you will never beat yourself up over stuff in the past because a better future always starts right now...right here...today...with good choices from this moment forward. A very wise and dear friend told me when I was 19 to never be ashamed of the fact that I am sensitive and easily broken. It is something to be embraced because it's who I am. At your age I hated it about myself because I felt things so deeply. But now I know he was right. After all my (many) years I have realized exactly what Starfield writes in their song that I love to hear you play and sing. It is in brokenness before Christ that we find ourselves complete.

And so to you on this birthday we wish you completeness, patience, blessings, and peace as you allow His plans to unfold in your life. Have a great day today and a new song everyday. We love you!

"I have not much to offer You
Not near what You deserve
But still I come because Your cross
Has placed in me my worth
Oh, Christ my King of sympathy
Whose wounds secure my peace
Your grace extends to call me friend
Your mercy sets me free

And I know I’m weak
I know I’m unworthy to call upon Your name
But because of grace, because of Your mercy
I stand here unashamed.

I can’t explain this kind of love
I’m humbled and amazed
That You’d come down from heavens heights
And greet me face to face
Here I am at Your feet
In my brokenness complete

Here I am at Your feet
In my brokenness complete…."

Unashamed, by Starfield